Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 3 March 2006

3 March 2006

Having sat through another 'immaculately observed' minute's silence the other night your Guest Diarist wonders where it is all going to end. People keep dying don't they? And how soon until everyone gets their fifteen minutes of fame followed, some time later on, by their minute of silence observed by the entire flippin' nation? And although Osgood was second only to Matt Tees as a boyhood hero, I must admit I was sadder when I heard that Linda Smith had popped her clogs. A funny lady who said, as the Greek captain lifted the Euro 2004 trophy: "We'll have that in the British Museum by the end of the week claiming it's ours." Not only that: this was the week that I discovered, after a mere forty years or so, that Chubby Checker was actually just a piss-take of Fats Domino. It's bloody obvious when you think about it, but I just never did until now. And hats off to Dennis Skinner for managing to simultaneously heckle both Blair and Cameron during Prime Minister's Questions this week by advising his leader that he should have sent packets of white powder rather than flowers after Cameron's missus produced the sprog.

Finally, every self-respecting head must be cringing when they hear that the Rolling Stones' music has been incorporated into a rock ballet. No, this is not the embodiment of the countercultural revolution we all strived for, gentle reader; this is just, just, just the sound of some corporate wanker scraping the bottom of the ideas wok and dredging up some really horrible black bits. Hang on - I'd better pop a happy pill.

Anyway. Never mind Luton signing Reddy for a big fee and then forgetting to ask him to leave Blundell Park, Rushden manager Barry Hunter appears to think that he has captured the most estimable right-back, errrrm, ever: "Macca is back in training but he's not with the first team yet. He is well ahead of schedule and not only should he be back with us very soon but he'll probably play in a reserve game next week." The delusional Mr Hunter goes on to prove his loopiness later in the piece on the Rushden official site by gurgling about Town after being asked whether they will prove tougher opponents than Macclesfield whom they beat last week: "In theory yes and in my opinion they are arguably the strongest team in our league. They've got good players all over the pitch in every position and they play this league very, very well." In a rare moment of clarity Hunter mentions that on-loan striker Petr Mikolanda got a run-out for the Czech u21 side this week (they lost 1-0 in Turkey). The Rushden site has also published an interview with Ronnie Bull. I tell you what, gentle reader, the only interview subject less interesting than a professional footballer is possibly your average rock musician. Ronnie Bull is looking forward to meeting his old club, Grimsby Town. Rock on, Tommy.

Meanwhile, Orient boss Martin Ling reckons 80 points will be enough for promotion. If he's right (and it sounds suspiciously low to me) then Town need 20 points from 12 games. And its twelvety to one we will get them.

Next, the standing news. Michael Reddy is division four player of the month while the Grimsby manager, Mr Russell Slade, is left catching the bouquet yet again as he just fails to win manager of the month for the seventh time running. Season ticket holders can get tickets for the Lincoln match next week on a one-for-one basis. Town have been allocated 2,300 seats at Sincil Bank, apparently. There is a lot of confidence that the pitch will be OK tomorrow as the Rushden ground staff have it safely tucked up every night under a big continental quilt they bought from Brentford Nylons in 1976. If you are bothered (no, I know you don't look bothered) you can ring them tomorrow on 01933 652000 to find out what sort of night the pitch has had. And, finally, ex-Town legend jogging Danny Butterfield is going to see a specialist about his pelvic injury. Apparently Iain Dowie really misses him.

Town, as the Diary told us yesterday, have a fully fit raring-to-go squad. Except for Justin Whittle, that is. The Telegraph tells us that Mr Slade will play the same back four despite Croft's return from suspension, but that he hasn't a clue what to do in midfield. Play JPK in case we get a penalty, I hear you mutter. Let's hope we get a good result. I'm off to make a list of cape-wearing keyboard players now, so see yer.