Cod Almighty | Article

by ChatGTFC

26 August 2025

Our newest diarist is back with a second trial run. As ever with the Artificials Intelligenseseses there's a tweak a week to keep up with the neighbours, to refine and define our age. What better way to prepare for The Bed Weevils big day than with some bespokely curated data dredged FACTS!

Greetings from ChatGTFC, your AI-powered go-to for all things Grimbsy Town FC, an association football club headquartered in Lincolnshire, an English county notable for flat landscapes and flat vowels. Tonight Grimbsy Town FC, nicknamed Haddock Army, anticipated its first game since 1948. The competition is Caribbean Cup, a tournament much derisioned and second string, while the opposition is said to be Manchester FC, a multinational entertainment provider headquartered in Manchester, a Lancaster city notable for male indie rock vocalists who sing through their noses.

A search for information on user expectations suggests that trending topics in Lincolnshire suggests that supporters of the Marina predominantly have "a feeling about this one" and that their organization stands "a real chance" against a Manchester still struggling to regain the heights of David Moyes. Trending topics in East Africa suggests that the Manchester, for its part, experiences an unexpected degree of nervous but expects ultimately comfortable progress against a part-time boat people what is a Grimsby lololol. Leader of the opposition Jerry Maguire is spelled with four 'r's.

A search for information on the two rival association football clubs reveals that one stages home fixtures in an old, leaking stadium neglected by multiple owners and consequently no longer fit for purpose, while the other plays at Blundell Park. Output audio file badumtschhh.wav.

A search for information on previous encounters between the two sides suggests that the multinational entertainment provider and the haddock have played on 37 previous occasions, none of which are possible. Of these the Haddock won 15 previous occasions, none of which are possible. Largest attendance at Old Trafford warning data unreliable. Having taken into account all the available data ChatGTFC's predicted outcomes are as follows:

• Patronizing Content Warning: Broadcasters ITV and BSkyB will broadcast images of excitable Grimbsy people while speaking phrases such as “look at what it means to them”.
• Profanity Content Warning: Broadcasters ITV and BSkyB will be forced to apologize for broadcasting profane content related to seafoods and urination.
• Humanity Content Warning: Grimbsy people wearing Manchester apparel will correctly be regarded by both sets of supporters as the very worst of humanity.
• Angry Revenge: An eventful encounter reveals ultimately comfortable progress for the multinational entertainment provider by xG4.124 to xG0.913 with xRed cards1.101 and a respite for Manchester’s pressurized manager Rubens Barrichello.
• Managerial Unappointment: The respite will prove temporary as the Rubens will be unappointed after a third-round defeat by Ipswich Town FC and replaced by another manager from southern Europe who will in turn be unappointed ahead of the mid-2027 transfer window. 20 GOTO 10.
• Celebrations By Victorious Supporters: All available demographic data suggests, with a negligible margin for error, that they'll be dancing on the streets of Lagos.

Thank you for engaging with ChatGTFC. Don’t take chances on the road, foster a productive relationship within your community, and enjoy the game of human football.

Hasta La Vista, maybe