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Diary - Wednesday 8 March 2006

8 March 2006

Craig Richards may sound like the name of your school bully or another Grimsby-based snooker player who occasionally reaches the verge of winning something and then contrives to lose as he spectacularly henmans ten frames in a row. But it is also the name of a 19-year-old Southampton defender, and the reason it has the honour of opening today's Diary is that the 19-year-old Southampton defender of that name is on trial with Grimsby Town. Young Craig signed his first professional contract at St Mary's in June 2005, and the Mariners' official website is quite excited about his scoring record for the Saints' youth team - which knocks spots off that of most of Town's strikers. The OS seems to have lifted its copy from a profile of the player on Southampton's website, which explains that Young Craig, as I have decided to keep calling him a la Young Greg, has also played up front and at right-back. The ultimate Slade signing: Gary Cohen and Gary Jones combined in a single body.

Reserves Game in Doubt is the headline of an item on Town's official website today. The page explains that the Mariners' reserves have been spared a thrashing by their affluent counterparts from King$ton Communication$ FC this afternoon because the Blundell Park pitch is waterlogged, and that the match has been rescheduled for Monday 20 March. All of this, you would think, rather seems to take this afternoon's fixture somewhat beyond the status of "in doubt", but hey, we're only the idiots who pay their wages.

When he's not biting pencils in half or tearing apples apart with his hands, Mr Russell Slade likes to relieve the tension of his job with a little natter to the BBC. This week is no exception, and as manager of one of the fourth division's top sides, the highly strung Mariners boss has taken part in Auntie's big overview of the race to escape the basement. "We are capable of grinding out results," says the King of Grind when asked the key to Town's success this season, before dipping into his management-speak manual to observe that "when you're at the top there is a thing called success anxiety, which can make you choke". Give it a name and it sounds all right, doesn't it? Our Russ has also blabbed to the Beeb about his points target for promotion. "We think 81 points may be enough to do it, if you're setting targets," Sort It pondered, adding: "which is a dangerous thing to do, I know," before strapping a belt of dynamite around his torso and abseiling down the front of the Pontoon smoking a fat cigar.