Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 13 April 2006

13 April 2006

When you think of bars and recent Grimsby Town players, you tend to think of Tony Gallimore; but it is a different kind of bar that concerns the Mariners this week as Soccer AM rolls into town. As Reserve Trialist Diary reported on Tuesday, the profoundly irritating Sky TV programme - in which presenters hilariously refer to GTFC as "the fishy people" - has been filming a dazzling piece of entertainment called the Crossbar Challenge, in which players kick a ball towards the goal from the halfway line and try to hit the crossbar. Reporting on the efforts of Sladey's sloggers in this ground-breaking televisual extravaganza, the Grimsby Telegraph plays into Murdoch's clammy palms by teasing: "To find out if the Mariners pulled it off, fans will have to tune in to Sky Sports," but succeeds only in strengthening the Diary's resolve to stick with Fighting Talk this Saturday morning. The Telewag piece is headlined TV test a real morale boost - which seems a decidedly positive spin, given that a more realistic summary would probably be TV test a real and unnecessary distraction as club prepares for crucial promotion run-in.

Speaking of reserve trialists, which we sort of were, the Diary notes that recent, er, reserve trialists Will Ahern and Rory Patterson both scored last night as their club FC United of Manchester wrapped up promotion to Division One of the North West Counties League with a 4-0 victory over Chadderton. This does not imply in any way, of course, that the Mariners were wrong not to immediately follow up their interest in the FCUM duo with offers of hard contracts; and in any case, the transfer deadline has passed, so Town wouldn't have been able to sign them anyway... er... right?

Speaking of promotion, which we definitely were, although not in a directly GTFC-related context, the Diary has received an email from Grimsby Tim (aka Disgruntled of Bearwood), asking: "Who on Earth writes the sports news on AOL Sport? According to their latest offering Town are involved in the Division One promotion race and, believe it or not, are a Yorkshire club." Bizarre indeed, Tim, but what can you expect if you rely on AOL for anything?

Before I bid thee cheerio for the week and hand over to tomorrow's guest diarist, there's one more email, this time from John Pakey. "Ahoy!" he begins, nautically. "I've been chatting to my colleague at Colchester United and he has been in contact with Grimsby Town's Frenchman Mk1, Thomas Pinault. Apparently he got a bad injury in pre-season last year while trying to wrestle himself into the plans of some fourth division club - Oxford, I believe - and ended up having to head back to France, where he picked up another injury. One operation and long recovery later he is hoping to once again break into the basement division of the Football League when he heads over to these shores this summer. Rumour has it that Oxford is a target, as also is the mighty Mariners. Could the Gauloise-smoking Gallic wonder once again be pulling on the black and white stripes for Town next season?" The sight of Messrs Slade and Pinault kissing and making up is one we would all dearly love to behold, John, but I fear the chances may be slimmer than of seeing Messrs Adams and Paisley snogging on the steps of Stormont.