Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 2 May 2006

2 May 2006

Greenfly. Tapeworm. Head lice. Fleas. Chinese liver fluke. Monogenetic trematodes. Football agents. Did you spot the odd one out? It was greenfly: all the others are parasites. Speaking of agents, Rob Jones has been speaking through his. The player was linked last week with a move to Scottish also-rans Hibernian by some stupid website or other which reckoned he'd be available on a free transfer this summer; GTFC deemed it necessary to rebut this non-story; and it ended up all over the BBC and everywhere, as if it were a real story to begin with. Now Jones's Mr 15% Kevin Smith has stuck his oar in, bleating to the Grimsby Telegraph about how mean that Mr Fenty is for not wanting to break the wage structure of a club that remains technically insolvent, substantially indebted to HM Customs & Excise, and without which his client would probably have ended up playing non-League football in 2004. In explaining why Town should push the boat out to extend Jones' contract beyond the end of next season, Smith describes Jones as "a major cog in their wheel of success", showing why he pursued a career as an agent rather than one that would require him to construct a half-decent sentence.

Of more immediate concern is the matter of whether big Rob will be fit to play Town's final league game of the season against Northampton after leaving the pitch injured at Macclesfield on Saturday and more or less taking the team's hopes of promotion with him. The answer is no, he probably won't, so start writing down those play-off dates.

Ah well. If Jones leaves and Steve Mildenhall follows him, at least Town have got Alan Fettis to fill in between the sticks.

Those play-off dates don't seem to feature in the diary of Curtis Woodhouse, who is either feeling more optimistic than the Diary or will be leaving GTFC even sooner than was previously believed. The midfielder-soon-to-turn-pugilist has informed the Grimsby Telegraph: "The Northampton game will be my last match as a footballer." Good news for Jean-Paul Kamudimba Kalala and Ciaran Toner, but one wonders how Mr Russell Slade will take to losing his favourite central midfielder for the big semi-final against Lincoln. "It was always my intention to finish this season," adds the former King$ton Communication$ FC midfielder, who in January signed a contract committing him to the Mariners until the summer of 2007. Curt has also been doing his bit for morale at this critical moment in the season with a Mariners World interview in which he tells Town fans, and two of his team-mates, that he won't miss football one bit. Lovely.

Let us remain for the conclusion of today's Diary with Town's nouveau-riche north bank neighbours, for it was against a KCFC side that Neil Woods' cup-winning youth team ended its season on Friday night - and ended it in some style, running out 4-1 winners with goals from Lewis Britteon (3) and Andy Taylor (the other one, obviously). Peter Taylor is expected at Blundell Park this afternoon waving a wad large enough to secure the services of both players and prevent such an embarrassing turn of events ever happening again.