Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 22 May 2007

22 May 2007

With Mr Normal Diary still electronically ill and taking his Knoppix with vegetarian tea and digestives it's Deviant Diary, live and exclusive from a wi-fi hotspot, just down the hill from the lady with the tin foil bedroom. Run for the Hills! No don't run for the hills, that's where that mobile phone mast is that's frying our Brians. Or brains. Or Barnes. That explains his reluctance to wander beyond the six yards box in front of the Pontoon? It must be that radio mast on the floodlights beaming messages from beyond the Humber Graving Dock.

Or it could be cobblers.

Happy Birthday! Yes, it's a well known Mariner's birthday today. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Paul Mariner, happy birthday to you. And Isaiaiaiaiaiaiah Rankin's too, apparently. He used to play for Town too, apparently.

As everyone at Blundell Park has gone to the moon the Gawd-Bless-It-Official-Site is reduced to the cyberversion of dredging up the Tetney Lock - an interview with little Johnny Rowan, Lennie's Big Thing. Stuck as we are in the flatlands and badlands south of the border down Humberston way, let's hold a minute's silence for each one of Daryl Clare's trees.

Meanwhile further down the Grimsby Road the GET continues its obsession with events in a field near Irthlingborough, though at least this does involve a local lad, so we can forgive that. His mum'll be pleased. Meanwhile the rest of us are still dreaming of Martin Paterson. It's a long, hot summer so you better slip into something more comfortable before you melt with excitement.

Or it could be cobblers.

No football and nothing going on? Tired of waiting for news? Let's end on a smile. With Eric Morecambe's ascension to the fourth division of professional football in England we can look forward to this next year. What a beauty!

Now that really is cobblers.