Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 18 June 2007

18 June 2007

When there's no story, all good journalists know that you have to make a story out of it. And so it is that the Grimsby Telegraph reports the absence of Sir John McDermott's name from the Queen's birthday honours list published over the weekend. Fans had, of course, been calling for some time to have the achievements of Town's record appearance maker and heroic right-back, who retired in May after two decades of awesome consistency, commemorated nationally with an MBE or summat like that, but with characteristic Grimbarian apathy only 700 could be bothered to sign a petition on the Downing Street website and the campaign fell as flat on its arse as one of the many opposition right wingers Macca had the beating of over the years. "If you get one you get one and if you don't you don't," the ex-player told the Telegraph. "To be honest it was nice just to be nominated... I know what people think of me and that is good enough." This ought at least to stand Sir John in good stead in the race to become Boston United's new manager, as the last holder of the post was pretty clear about what people thought of him too.

Town's official website has also managed to conjure a page from thin air today, though this may be less surprising given the frequency with which the club is able to send chargeable text messages that tell you absolutely bugger all. The non-story this time concerns changes to the 2007-08 fixture list, which was published last Thursday, and the gist is that these alterations haven't been made yet, but they will be soon. "All necessary fixture and kick-off changes will be announced on the official website," promises the club, which would at least mark an improvement from last season, when the rearrangement of the home game against Mansfield to a Friday night to avoid a clash with a 'Family Fun Day' at Cleethorpes Boating Lake was announced only in the Grimsby Telegraph, possibly out of sheer embarrassment.

In other emails to the Diary sent during my absence on broken computer leave a few weeks ago, Sean Carr was another reader to suggest an improvement for Cod Almighty. "How about a new feature to run through the barren footyless months?" he wrote. And what would that be, sir? "A quick checklist of who is signed up, which you could update when someone new joins or re-signs. Perhaps, if they are new, how long a contract and where they joined from in brackets after their name? Can you put it into the four basic categories? Goalies, defenders, midfielders, strikers." Great idea, Sean - so great, in fact, that this website has done precisely that in recent close seasons (albeit not always accurately: if only Steve Mildenhall had signed a two-year contract). The lack of such a checklist this summer may be due to circumstances in the life of CA's Andy Holt, who was responsible for their upkeep in previous years. Andy, if you're reading - what's the sitch?

Also, thanks to Gary Main and Dave Clark for getting in touch; if you've ordered a T-shirt, Gary, we hope you like it; and, Dave, the Diary has been informed by Cod Almighty lexicographer Pete Green - a sort of more northern, less sexy version of Victoria Coren - that he will look over all the new submissions to the Grimmo Dictionary sometime soon. There are loads, apparently. Joe Mooney, meanwhile, was unhappy at serial play-off loser Russell Slade's line in baseball caps. "I'm willing to bet money that he's never watched a Yankees match in his life. I really don't like it when sports team badges are worn as designer labels." I can see where you're coming from, Joe; in fact the Diary cares little for designer labels, full stop. If I had that sort of money I'd do something better with it, like book a table at McMenemy's. And then get turned away at the door for not wearing designer labels.