Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 13 June 2007
13 June 2007
Hello! Today you find the Diary bright, relaxed and perfectly happy. Why? I have just installed a plug-in for Firefox which blocks Flash animations from playing automatically, instead displaying placeholders which you have to click if you want the animations to begin. What's so great about that? It means that I can now visit Town's official website without getting headaches and nausea from all those McDeath adverts. Get in!
Town's opponents in the first round of next season's League Cup will be second division Burnley, last stopping-off point for Danny Coyne and birthplace of the actor who plays Claire out of Coro. The two sides last played each other in the 2002-03 season - Town and Burnley, I mean, not Danny and Claire - scoring 21 goals in their four meetings, including, of course, a home win for the Mariners in the league which was less bizarre for its 6-5 scoreline than for Stuart Campbell and Simon Ford scoring two of the goals. It is perhaps with the sides' recent history in mind that the Burnley Express, rather than disrespectfully drone on about what an unglamorous, dreary and, heh, grim journey awaits local fans in the week beginning 13 August, chooses to describe the tie as "a tricky trip" for the Clarets. Either that or Burnley is scarcely less unglamorous, dreary and grim than Grimsby, of course.
Since nothing else is happening until the fixture list comes out tomorrow and we moan about not having local derbies on bank holidays any more, let us turn again to the Diary's pulsating inbox. In response to one of yesterday's emails Phil Watson writes: "I reckon Steven Young's travel agent has sold him a pup if Steve reckons there will be beaches for him to frolic on (in a CA T-shirt or otherwise) in Slovakia, which is a landlocked central European country of which Wikipedia helpfully says: 'The Slovak landscape is noted primarily for its mountainous nature'. Dump the beach towel and break out the hiking boots Steve. Mind you, I write this from a compound in the Saudi desert a few miles east of Riyadh, where we have all the sand we could ever wish for but still nothing resembling a beach." Much like the playing surface at Rochdale the other year, eh.
Kind-hearted Sibbo, meanwhile, has been moved to email by the plight of Town's county neighbours. "Good to hear a shout out from impsTALK in yesterday's Diary," he writes. "Although Boston as a club deserved all they got, I have some good friends who have supported the Pilgrims for many years. I find it a sad fact that some no longer want to watch their team play. It makes me realise how important Grimsby Town FC are to my life. So roll on August when Dave and I will be motoring up the A16 to BP once again. Oh, by the way, it's good to have you back, Diary. Those motherfucker boards, eh!" Thanks mate. I guess Steven Young will be saying the same thing when he tries surfing in Slovakia.
Ben Gresswell emailed shortly before yesterday's Diary was published, and hence had not read the lachrymose farewell from impsTALK when he wrote: "'Was it better than sex?' is often a question reserved for sportsmen and women who have just won a major trophy or for multi-million-pound lottery winners. However, I afforded myself the luxury of asking the same question when I stumbled across the news that the backward, potato-picking, six-toed, carrot-crunching Boston Backhanders FC had been relegated again. And guess what? The answer was YES, YES, YES." Ben fails to elaborate, however, on whether he means sex with Leanne Battersby.