Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 8 June 2007

8 June 2007

Jonny Rowan, who was once known as the first Peter Bore, is back in town teaching kids how to play football. The Boston Town striker has been asked by Graham Rodger to give him a hand and has been invited to reminisce about his Town career to the Grimsby Telegraph. Apparently among his noteworthy goals were ones scored at Liverpool and Hartlepool. The latter, as your Guest Diarist recalls, galvanised the entire Town team in to thinking they could get back from this 4-1 away deficit. And for ten minutes they pulverised 'em, before unfortunately conceding another four goals a bit later on. The best goal in that match, of course, was scored by Paul Groves. I always wanted Jonny to be good enough to have his own song ('Little Jonny Rowan' to the tune of that magnificent Television track), but it was not to be.

The other tittle-tattle that has been floating about this week concerns Jack Lester, with whom Lord Buckley has confessed to having two minutes of phone sex. Any road, Jack resolutely refused to come for that sort of money and put the phone down. One of Cod Almighty's Nottingham-based spies had already asked Jack's missus, I'm told, and apparently she said that Jack's legs are not what they were. There should be a witticism about diving next, but I just can't be arsed, so insert your own, gentle reader.

Town's match at Grantham has been brought forward a day to Tuesday 17 July, which is good news for Corrie-watchers like me. The Grantham stadium is a miniature Fentydome and lacks the charm of Lincoln United or Brigg's grounds, but it should be a grand night out nonetheless. But so, so far in the future. At least we will have next season's fixture list to pore over next week. Meanwhile the club has told the Telegraph that season ticket sales are now over £260,000. Why don't they just tell us how many they have sold? My guess is between eight hundred and a thousand, so there's a way to go yet and the prices go up at noon on Saturday - so stop dithering, chaps. [Are women fans allowed to dither a while longer? - ed.]

And to finish I'd like to offer a piece of advice to those government-deplored bottle-of-red-wine in-front-of-the-telly every-night drinkers. Two pieces actually: keep drinking it, and eat a small cube of cheese immediately beforehand. Not, not for the calcium but to cause a chemical reaction in your mouth which makes Lidl's Spanish plonk taste really quite nice. See yer.