Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 1 May 2012

1 May 2012

Saddened but not surprised. That's how your original/regular Diary felt when I read a tweet by Too Good To Go Down the other day. It said that Michael Coulson - recently released by GTFC from the remaining weeks of his contract after rejecting a new deal - was allegedly "unable to train with league club for 6 weeks as Town still hold registration and won't let him". Is it true? We can't be sure. But former Mariners defender Steven Watt shared the Diary's feelings, tweeting: "that's shocking but if I'm being honest it doesn't surprise me".

If it's true, then it's not just the kindergarten petulance that's so terrible. Although that's bad enough (see also: Tondeur, John, removal to back of press room of). It's also the sheer stupidity. The utterly self-defeating nature of it. The reeling off of an entire round of live ammunition into one's toes. Has it even occurred to anyone at the club that professional footballers talk to each other? That word might get around about GTFC being a shit employer? That this will make the seemingly impossible job of building a decent Grimsby Town team harder still? No?

There's better news about the players who are staying - although, reading the Grimsby Telewag and Town's superb new official website, I'm a bit confused about where being "given" or "handed" a new contract ends and where actually signing it begins. And don't even ask me how "agreeing" the new contract fits into the middle.

What it looks like is that James 'Don't Call Him Macca' McKeown has signed for two more years. Andi Thanoj is probably just about to do likewise. Miss Guest Diary's favourite, Frankie Artus (I intend no disparagement by thinking of Artus as a sort of Tesco Saver Wayne Burnett), has said he'd like to stay, and "been handed" a new one-year contract. There's nothing anywhere to say he's actually signed it yet though. Good news? Hell, the CA team were so excited yesterday that we even sent Andi a congratulatory tweet - despite our policy of not using Twitter to try and communicate with footballers, except for Martin Gritton.

As ever, the Cod Almighty Contract Tracker is here to try and keep you up to date (beware of expensive imitations), but we're not sure what to enter into it next to the name of Charlie I'Anson. While the club has been happy to tell us exactly what length contracts have been offered to other players, and what stage negotiations are at, Town's shit-hot executive management are notably more circumspect over I'Anson's situation. "Talks are ongoing" seems to be the most we can get out of the SNOS.

But surely Grimsby Town Football Club, with its much-vaunted emphasis on youth, wouldn't allow the departure of the most talented central defender to emerge through the ranks since Peter Handyside? Well, don't hold your breath. This is the same club that lost future Premier League star Danny Butterfield on a free transfer because nobody in the office understood how the Bosman ruling worked.

Oh, and Anthony Church and Kiernan Hughes-Mason have been released. The exit of Church has seemed inevitable to me since his positionally challenged first half against Forest Green in March. Hughes-Mason's seems a shame, as many supporters thought he had a lot to offer and were surprised he wasn't given more of a chance. We could trust the managers' judgement on this one, or we could go on a messageboard, turn on caps lock, and randomly flap our webbed fingers at the keyboard for a couple of minutes. We haven't decided yet.

Lastly today, Chris White has emailed the Diary in response to Matt Pakes' question last week. Matt asked: "When was the last time we actually finished a season with the same managers we started with?". It's funny he should mention that, says Chris, because "at the start of the season I was hoping for three things: to reach the first round proper of the FA Cup; to finish in the top half of the table; and to finish the season with the same managers as we started it with. So by my reckoning a successful season!" Thanks, Chris! If anyone's glass is half-fuller than that, we'd be delighted to hear from you.