Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 8 August 2012

8 August 2012

Right then, let's blast through the news because it's a lovely day, the Olympics are on (yes, even I've been sucked in by what we'll possibly refer to in the future as Great Britain's golden age) and your West Yorkshire Diary is now rushed off his size nine feet and behind schedule after a discussion about shampoo with a male colleague went on way longer than was strictly necessary.

So then, it looks like Liam Hearn might not be fit for our first game of the season at Southport on Saturday, Gary Silk has joined Boston United, a NEW ONLINE TICKET OFFICE has been launched by the shouty NSNOS, and Shouty himself is nothing more than a big softy.

The Grimsby Telegraph reports that the players have been doing double training sessions to build up their base fitness levels - just like last year. My opinion on whether this actually worked or not is based on the shocking start the players made to last season, which I put down to them feeling knackered from all those double sessions. And then we fell apart in March - at exactly the time when I thought those double sessions were meant to give us the edge over all those other clubs that could only be arsed to do single sessions.

No news to report on 'the final piece of the jigsaw', aka this winger we're after. Even if we did get that final piece, it'd only dislodge a few other pieces and then we'd be looking to borrow pieces from another jigsaw by October to patch up our jigsaw. Shouty would then get mad and throw the box on the floor because the borrowed pieces don't fit and Shorty would tell the Telegraph that jigsaws are difficult but everyone's trying really hard.

Which reminds me of the age-old football joke: Why is [name a striker of your choice who was really shit - say, Michael Jeffrey] like a jigsaw? Because he falls to pieces in the box. Ba-dum-tsh. No?

Finally today, a heart-warming story about ten-year-old Town fan Declan Gunn, who was invited by the club to be in the official squad photo for the season. Declan was born prematurely and was only given six months to live. It's a lovely gesture by the club, which seems to be doing more in the community now than it did when it was in the Football League. Bravo to everyone involved!