Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 8 July 2013

8 July 2013

I remember The Nolan Sisters opening our school fete – they didn't put that in Bernie's obituary. Ah, those long-gone days when the stars came to Grimsby. Charlie Williams, Lonnie Donegan, Bernie Clifton...the list is long, with many a winding turn.

On a fun-packed and less than manic Monday, your fun-packed and more than egomaniacal Bonus Pack Diary brings you news of nothing yet. Well, at least the middle class are happy in their hypocrisy. Let's be magnanimous in Murray's Mcvictory. Where there were net cords he brought harmony. If he'd lost he'd still have been Scottish to the sour-faced strawberry suckers of Sussex and Surrey. Praise the man, pan the praise. And 'Can The Can' was a hit for Suzi Quatro 40 years ago today.

Can you feel it coming in the air tomorrow night? Positive John (TopCan) has a can-do attitude and has a cord in his hand with Town (instruction to wandering hacks: insert journalistic cliché #14) "POISED TO UNVEIL!" a new can prior to the great limbering up against the in-no-way-awed Cleethorpes Town. Whether the new can we'll meet is the same as the old can you'll know six minutes and 23 seconds after this diary is published. I can kick that can down the street to Tuesday's diarist.

You know you can't get one can inside another if they are the same size, which may not be the philosophy underpinning Town's transfer policy. And you can't always get what you want either, which is the outcome of Town's transfer activities. When it comes to centre-backs the auctioneer is bidding for a box of fading years.

Four paragraphs and no links? Shurely shome mishtake: aren't we a plagiariser's paradise? Today's fun links to divert your attention are a warning to Shaun Pearson not to moan too much to those men in pastel shirts and a warning to those with a taste for rhubarb.

So, tomorrow night then – a hotchpotch of top notch Scotts and scuttlers with the promise of a mystery man. Let's hope that his Bentley-driving guru isn't putting up his price. Anyone for tennis? Wouldn't that be nice.