Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 30 January 2004

30 January 2004

Blimey, is it that time of the week already? Being the non-working guest diarist that I am, the days just fly by. It's already time to try to get revved up over the prospect of a Grimsby game. And, for once, we can while away the pre-match hours wondering who will be playing for Town.

Despite losing Macca (who is, this very day, coming under uncomfortably close scrutiny by a hernia specialist) after their very own mid-winter break, the Town squad available has grown by about 20 per cent with Crane back after suspension, and Campbell and Barnard's mums allowing them out to play again - although Barney's insists he keeps wrapped up and warm. Let's hope he does that by running up and down the left wing, rather than wrapping himself up on the bench, because I still haven't quite recovered from our left sided defensive debacle at the last home match. Any road, our friends at Radio Humberside reckon all three will play, according to my Pontoon neighbour Mr. Tony Butcher.

Did I ever tell you that I live about half a mile outside the Radio Humberside broadcast area? I'm sure locals at the other end of our village think I'm casing their joints as I sit outside their houses hunched over the wheel listening to away games.

And to top it all we've signed another striker. A few days after the dust has settled on the Boulding non-transfer story, Paul Groves has enlisted the support of ex-Lincoln striker Lee Thorpe on a month's loan from Leyton Orient. Mr. Thorpe has a disciplinary record reminiscent of our own Mr. Crane this season - seven yellows and a red. Oh, and he's managed to hit the net four times between the suspensions. So what do you make of that? None of our existing first team strike force is injured, so we have a choice between Boulding, Mansaram, Onuora, Jevons, Rowan, and now Thorpe. Well Boulding scores, and never gets booked, so that's one positional choice solved you would think. Jevons has been converted to a non-scoring midfielder, and the others never really look like scoring do they? In fact what is Iffy providing that Livvo couldn't have done? But that's another story. So, on that basis Town need a decent partner for Boulding.

Whether Thorpe will be it, is a matter for debate. His protagonists will cite his 'one in three' goal-scoring record for Lincoln, but he only plays half the time, and his manager at Orient recently summed up the situation thus: "He's been picked in the side on a regular basis but it's not happened for him, and that's been a disappointment for all of us. Lee has also made regular appearances in the referee's notebook and that takes the edge off his game as well." Yeah, we know the feeling Mr. Ling - only too well, actually.

Before we finish with strikers and get on to the serious stuff, I must confess to a sniggering attack yesterday when I read on the Electronic Fishcake the following pronouncement from its proprietor: "This decision (i.e. to stay) could cost Boulding a great deal of money so it is good to see him holding on at Town." Cod Almighty reader Keith Collins sees the situation very differently: "Maybe I'm a cynic but I believe the following will happen. Boulding has rejected offers from Peterborough and Barnsley, as there is an offer waiting at the end of the season for a free transfer. This will save the buying club a fee, which will then allow them to pay Boulding an enhanced signing-on fee equivalent to the 45K (or more) transfer fee. Sounds good business to me (but shit to the Mariners)." Couldn't have put it better myself, Keith me old mate.

But the big news of the day has to be the impending split of Atomic Kitten. Natasha Hamilton has blamed the stress of trying to combine motherhood with a career in pop for the break-up, but this Diarist suspects that the daft Cod Almighty rumour of them playing before a Blundell Park crowd must have had something to do with it ("like, if we're playing at a football ground in Grimsby, I'm leaving!" Or summat). If you fancy joining them for a final tear-stained farewell, then their last gig will apparently be in Hull on March 11th.

With all this talk of mid-season breaks, it has occurred to me that the ones who probably need it most are the fans - especially us Town fans. I've noticed my own performance at matches recently declining - I'm hunching more, the vocal levels are way down, and even my capability to laugh at the absurd seems to be on the wane. So, next week, I'm heading off to Whitby with my squad for a four-day break. If you know any decent boozers there, let me know. See yer.