Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 24 May 2005

24 May 2005

Questions, questions, questions. When are two weeks the same as one? When you're promoting a football club's official text message service, that's when! While at least a couple of imminent signings for the Mariners were tantalisingly dangled before our mobile phones way back in, ooh, the first half of the month, deals to reinforce the squad are still, it would appear, not complete. The Grimsby Telegraph has taken time out from its possible 2007 move to a new £50m printing works at Elsham Wold to speak to Russell Slade, manager of its local football club, who is after two new midfielders, who may or may not sign during the next 48 hours. One, says the boss, "was in the division above last season and can play in both midfield and at the back if needed", and so may or may not be Craig Armstrong. "I can't afford to wait and then be left short in the middle of the park," adds Russ. As always, the Diary recommends a visit to the bathroom before you go out.

Is your cup half empty or half full? Since you are probably a Grimbarian, the chances are that you reckon your cup to hold barely enough liquid sustenance to moisten the tongue of a sparrow, and to be dirty, cracked and leaking fast to boot. I mean if Town's average attendance is only 1,000 less than in the club's second-flight days, that means most local people are a bunch of miserable bastards who don't know a good thing when it smacks them in the gob and scores five goals against Crystal Palace, surely? Hooray for the club's official website, though, for trying to put a positive spin on it, albeit in an item only just published despite clearly having been written just after the derby match against Scunthorpe in April. The piece also refers explicitly to the big crowd at that game (recorded as 7,941) just above a table of the average and highest gates of 2004-05 for each club in the fourth division, which gives Town's largest attendance as 7,091. Oh well. I'm sure nobody will notice.

If all good things come to an end, does it follow that all things that come to an end are good? Not necessarily, no. Take Lennie Lawrence's tenure as manager of Cardiff City, for instance, which came to an end yesterday. The south Wales club is reported to be £30m in debt and has climbed little more than a dozen places up the league since the silver-tongued former Town boss was appointed in 2002. At a cost of around £2m per league place gained, then, even the craziest of mad, deluded fools could scarcely present Lawrence's term in charge at Ninian Park as a good thing - and sure enough, Sam Hammam speaks only of his ex-manager's "loyalty", "dignity" and "composure". Maybe LL could fill a few empty days by giving Rabid Russ a crash course in the latter.

"With Aldershot failing in the Conference play-offs, and Tim Sills scoring another 16 goals for them this year to show he's no one-season wonder, what does the Diary think about the possibility of Slade renewing his interest in him?" asks Andy Holt in what is beyond reasonable doubt an email to the Diary. "Ignore the fact that he signed a two-year deal last summer and GTFC have no cash to spend on frivolous things like transfer fees, of course." I think there's more chance of him signing Matt Harrold, Andy.