Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 5 February 2009

5 February 2009

Welcome to the fragrant world of Deviant Diary: on the graveyard shift and avoiding the uncouth and lavatorial with a wavering waft of a handkerchief and rueful gaze into the distance.

Where does my gaze alight? Beyond the roadworks, beyond the rumble strips and to the blandest stadium in the world where our county cousins reside in a festering bungalow of complex inferiors and blubbering bile. The Master Masseur, 'Snippy' Nigel, continues his fascination with our old dinner dates, stalking our exes through the land. Yes, this time it's Liam Trotter's turn to be seduced by Scunnythorpe's high café society with al fresco anchovies by the Ancholme. Sinclair's better, but don't let them know that; otherwise it'll be soup and steak by the steelworks. How can we compete with that kind of high rolling?

"Is he or isn't he wearing Harmony hairspray?" He is! Stuart Elliott will stay for another month, and who can complain about that? Do we need him though? If Bournemouth continue their kamikaze ride into the abyss of administration number 24 then maybe not. Their chairman's a big man, but their finances aren't in shape. How many eyebrows were raised at the phrase "The club needs money to take it through until the end of the season and it looks like they have fallen short"? What, again?

The SNOS has issued an appeal for old footage of famous Town moments (hello Keith Collins!). Seems they do not employ an archivist, or at least no-one who could be bothered to hover over the record and play buttons of a Betamax. I'd ask for travelling and subsistence, Keith, at public service rates. It is snowing, after all.

Yoikes! Snow! Saturday! What about the orange ball, PJ?