Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 2 April 2009

2 April 2009

Effect the outcome of the competition? A cost which are unsustainable? In an ironically entitled 'Clarification' of his earlier denunciation of the Professional Footballers' Association loaning money to make sure their members actually get paid for doing their jobs, multi-millionaire Mariners chairman John Fenty (Con) has pointed out this morning that his club has never called in such help from the players' union. Why? The Diary, I am sad to say, has no idea at all. Perhaps some member of staff muttered darkly in the corridors of Blundell Park yesterday that the club's payroll had once relied on PFA funding, implying double standards on Fenty's part. Perhaps it was just a voice in his head. With the chairman refusing, as tends to be the case, to provide any such contextual information for his outpourings, we are left to guess, or simply to shake our heads in gentle perplexity. I wouldn't like to suggest that Fenty should just set up a Twitter account and have done with it, or anything like that, but if the GTFC new stadium supremo finds somewhere on the web to burble endlessly to anyone prepared to listen about whatever pops into his head every hour then it would at least free up Town's superb new official website for something more useful.

Before we tackle the backlog of emails that has mysteriously accrued this week, the Diary would like to mention a new five-a-side centre that's opening in Grimsby this Monday, 6 April. It's called Playsport and can be found on Estate Road 6, South Humberside Industrial Estate. It has three 3G state-of-the-art astroturf pitches, pool tables, darts and a bar, and toilets and so on. Mine's a bitter please Jase - cheers.

Now then. First up it's David Elvidge with some thoughts on the Mariners' quite useful win over Aldershot last weekend. "I made the journey from Norfolk on Saturday and met up with second son Nigel from Sheffield (did we travel furthest?). Here's a few observations. First the 'Sold Out' sign on the ticket office - when did that last happen? (We ordered tickets in advance.) Second, how come the vociferous following from Aldershot, given they have nothing to play for? We felt it was either squaddies ordered to attend as part a tough fitness course or simply they knew they would see a team 'up for it' (Town). Lastly, it was the coldest match I can remember, with the wind howling through the Upper [Frozen Beer Stand], yet Conlon the Destroyer seemed immune to it. A memorable match indeed! Full marks to Mike Newell and the lads." Barry Conlon is made of leather, David.

Chris Parrot has emailed in response to yesterday's Diary, where Tom Carpenter sought an explanation for a mysterious phrase found on the SNOS. "I don't know about the 'pyramid of teams'," writes Chris, "but for years it's looked as if there's a burial mound in the goalmouth at the Pontoon end." Drainage, Chris. It's all about drainage. If we didn't have that burial mound, Blundell Park would look like Atlantis, or at the very least Rochdale.

And before I hand over to Guest Diary to take you through to the weekend and Shrewsbury, Diary reader and clap clinic technician Felix Oliver-Tasker has today's final word. "I'm hoping to make the Easter Saturday match against Accrington Stanley," he writes, "as I will be home for the hols to stock up on sausages from Pettit's and stuff my face with Ernie Beckett's fish and chips. Where does one meet for a pre-match gargle or three? I will be available for consultations at the usual rate of £50.00 per minute." The CA team will look forward to seeing you in the Rutland Arms, Felix, where your services will no doubt be in high demand given its proximity to the beating heart of Grimsby's thriving sex industry.