Cod Almighty | Diary

The dismal science

7 March 2018

Let's get a couple of things cleared up, shall we. The first is Philip Day saying, during the press conference in which he introduced Michael Jolley, that there's no reason why Town can't be in the second division within five years. Some people are making far more of this – in both positive and negative ways – than it warrants. It's not a plan. It is not the result of a strategic review of activity at Blundell Park. Town don't do that. We don't have plans. It's not a measure of the club's ambition, or the directors' self-delusion. It was a throwaway comment. Nothing more than that. Move on.

The second is this absurd idea of Jolley bringing in more players. Oh, he can still sign free agents can't he, the transfer window doesn't apply to free agents, let's see who's out there, maybe three more defenders, couple in midfield, might as well sling in another winger, keeper, oh and Mallik Wilks has gone back to Leeds, let's get another half a dozen strikers in. Shut up. Signing too many players too quickly figures significantly among the reasons we find ourselves in this fucking mess to begin with. Free agents. Honestly. Please, shut up. Thanks.

Right, what's next? Various special offers are on, um, special offer for the forthcoming home games against Port Vale and Stevenage. Kids go free, bring a mate for free, that sort of thing. All good stuff, of course – but why do these special offers only go on special offer when Town are playing especially badly? Your original/regular Diary appreciates the need for fans to be there or Blue Square, naturally. I just worry, given the way the team has been performing lately, that if you bring your mate who hasn't seen a GTFC game in 20 years, they might not fancy showing up again for another 30.

The Port Vale match in particular has an awful lot riding on it. It's a 'bring a mate's kid for two quid' game. It's very obviously a crunch six-pointer (or 'snowflake', if you prefer – like a super-sensitive ickle right-winger who cwies when you say nasty things about queeny-weeny). And it's also been designated a Level Playing Field Game. Town's newly superb new official website explains that Level Playing Field is a charity advocating for disabled fans and that the club is "holding several activities throughout the week leading up the game". Unfortunately it doesn't tell you what they are and misspells the word 'dialogue', but hopefully the club's heart is in the right place, eh?

Better finish there, I suppose – it's getting late. That's because I've been standing on the picket line for most of the morning, giving passive-aggressive greetings to the succession of economists who have adopted various degrees of sheepishness as they crossed it. I know economics is Michael Jolley's subject and football supporters are not rational agents, but with luck we'll see greater solidarity this Saturday between those two groups than I did for the first part of today. Or something. See ya.