Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 8 August 2005

8 August 2005

You've got your set square and protractor. You've got your brand new lunchbox. You've got your Dangermouse pencil case. So it's time to go back to school and write about what you did in the holidays. Or it will be in a month's time, but far be it from the Diary to let that get in the way of a good opening riff. Because what most Grimsby Town supporters did in the holidays was say: "Yeah, if Reddy can stay fit next season he could score twenty and Town could get in the play-offs". Sadly for them, the fragile frontman upon whom their hopes fondly rested has broken down after the rigours of one full match and will need a fitness test ahead of tomorrow night's long-haul flight to Bristol Rovers - which is bound to be a good place for Terry Barwick to make his debut, since there will only be about eleven Town fans there to boo him. To add to the absences in Mr Russell Slade's register, Tom Newey has got a note from his mum while Jean-Paul Kalala (née Kamudimba), Justin Whittle and Ciaran Toner are still twagging it and spending the afternoons smoking fags and winding up the security staff in Freshney Place.

Cor, Gary Croft, eh? Crofty. Crofter. The Croft. Crozza. El Crofta del Croftimundo. If you still haven't done your homework and bought a season ticket despite numerous deadline extensions from Sir, but the return of the prodigal is making your calf quite fat with excitement, then you will be at least mildly interested to note that GTFC have given you even more time to sign away your Saturdays (and Fridays) for the next nine months at a discounted rate. Yea, the club hath said you've now got until the Darlington game a week on Saturday to claim a seas-tick with four games for free - or, as the Grimsby Telegraph shrewdly puts it - until "at least" then. The Diary is holding back until Ivano Bonetti and Kevin Drinkell come back as joint player-managers.

The PTA is delighted to announce that the GTFC summer fayre raised £25,000 towards the cost of a new roof for the sports hall or, for those of you watching in black and white, Town's decision to hike up the price of all those pre-season friendlies has been vindicated with the news that all those tenners have added up to 25 big ones towards the Keep the Mariners Afloat appeal. Which I guess means that the Keep the Mariners Afloat appeal must still be going on this season.

Former pupil Michael Boulding has been talking to the local authority careers service and decided to return to the game of tennis. Cod Almighty will soon be launching a sweepstake to raise funds for the Keep the Mariners Afloat appeal, with the winning ticket showing the exact day on which the first newspaper story about Boulding's relaunched tennis career says he used to be a footballer.

Finally, after rejecting a transfer to GTFC because of the lack of vibrant cultural experiences on offer in the North East Lincolnshire region, James Quinn has signed for Peterborough. Sometimes this column just writes itself.