Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 2 September 2005

2 September 2005

Gust diary here. You read that right. Had a stonking curry last night and you know how it is...

Toilet humour put aside, first off there's an interview with Russ on a small and infrequently visited website. All you need to know is "it's early days, but we are doing OK." So, that's OK, got that? No mention of a strong work ethic though. Maybe that's where we went wrong last season. As well as not playing 4-4-2.

Tonight's match, skilfully rearranged to be at the same time as I'm working (boo!), could see Ciaran Toner figure. He's had his cast removed, you see: something the producers of Eastenders could learn from. Paul Bolland will return from suspension to boss midfield, but Electric Gary Cohen is hamstrung and misses out. Our opponents, Stockport, have drawn their previous four games, and Monday's performance against Peterborough forced manager Chris Turner to drastic action. "I've shaken the players," he says, "and slapped them round the chops a bit, telling them to gettahold of themselves." Sorry. Been watching too many Humphrey Bogart movies recently.

"The game is also KIDS FREE," notes the official site. Before you start dreaming of a game devoid of shrill cries (the like of which dominates England games these days), clarification is issued: "free kids with one full paying adult." Good news for any fancying themselves as a prospective modern-day Mr Bumble. Ah, dear reader, when it comes to jocularity, Town are to PR what Anthony Williams is to goalkeeping.

Such a figure-distorting scheme means the club is expecting a "bigger than average crowd". This season's attendances indicate that the club is therefore expecting more than the apathetically enhanced figure of 4128. Time for a "one adult ticket free with every paying adult ticket"?

Viewers of Soccer AM - which is to footy fans what The Ministry Of Mayhem is to parents (ie. a loud, noisy and bright wake-up call, which can't compare to Dick 'n' Dom) - may be interested that Town have agreed to take part in the Crossbar Challenge. There are very few ways left that Town can miss a penalty, so that's this one in the bag.

Talking of bags, time to put this kitten of a diary into one and throw it in the river. Mew!