Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 10 November 2006

10 November 2006

The stretched twig of peace has been in meltdown these last twenty-four hours, on the Grimsby Town messageboards. Fans who were screaming like stuck pigs at the prospect of the third coming of Buckley were mysteriously converted overnight, and are screeching like teenage Beatle girls at the prospect of being in the presence of their latest messiah at the next home game. I hear it on good authority that the Blundell Park pie order is likely to be increased by at least twenty per cent and that two and a half ambulances may be required. The Grimsby Telegraph is expected to run a two-page supplement on the latter issue in the near future. Long may the bubble swell - isn't it nice to feel vaguely optimistic again?

Interviewed by Chapman Baxter on The Day Today (link sadly unavailable due to copyright reasons, explains your Guest Diarist), Mr Buckley explained that the "unfinished business" to which he has constantly referred in all media interviews since his appointment does not include the prospect of physical assault on either journalists or fans. Indeed Mr Buckley confirmed that he never squared up to anyone during his two previous terms at the club, adding that even his wife had put up with him for over thirty years. In a crafty swipe at those likening him with the son of God, Buckley reassured viewers that those Town players injured before his arrival, were, in fact, still injured. Buckley's eyebrows remained resolutely static during the exchange with Baxter, and his body language was described by Suzannah Geckeloy, an expert in these matters, as 'oaky in character with distinct after tones of middle aged adrenalin and fiery jack.'

Coincident with the appointment of Mr Buckley comes the news that former Town favourite Peter Handyside has been placed on the transfer list after Hucknall Town were knocked out of the FA Cup. Will Buckley be tempted to attempt a Sea Biscuit with his broken down old favourite? This information was discovered by a Cod Almighty hack whilst vainly perusing Hucknall Today for news of his beloved Mick. Actually Mick Hucknall once sang a very creditable cover of Neil Young's on the beach that I would like to hear again. Has anyone out there got a bootleg of it?

In a Mariners World video interview and another one with the Grimsby Telegraph Messrs Buckley and Watkiss have faced up to the injury and suspension problems for the away game at Northampton in the cup tomorrow. Jones is suspended; Rankin's injury has recurred; Bore, like many teenage boys is having trouble with his groin and has had the same fluey bug as me; Ravenhill has a hamstring problem; and Barnes' dodgy thigh continues. Of these, Barnes and Bore will likely play; Ravenhill likely won't and Rankin is rated 50:50. So one of the young lads may get a chance to partner seasoned pro Peter Bore. I won't be going so if anyone gets a chance - please give the Crowe man a good booing for me. See yer.