Cod Almighty | Diary

Town are gonna lose this

6 January 2014

Miss Guest Diary writes: Having suffered through the less-than-thrilling performances of Town's two previous home games, I made a last-minute decision to give away my ticket to Saturday's game and stay in the warm. I began to regret my decision when I checked the score at half time and again during the second half, but that changed when I saw the full-time score and the lateness of the goals conceded.

I really struggle to cope when Town lose in the way they did on Saturday – I couldn't even bring myself to watch the TV highlights until late on Sunday. In fact, I still get flashbacks to a game at Swindon nearly 20 years ago where, as on Saturday, Town were leading 2-1 with five minutes to go but lost 3-2. One of those late goals was a penalty won by a blatant dive from Jan Aage Fjortoft which, much to my surprise and possibly that of my neighbours, caused me to jump up and bellow: "You fucking cheat, Fjortoft". That was the first, and maybe the last, time I have ever shouted a profanity in public.

Such has been Town's propensity for conceding late goals that a little mantra was coined at the back of the Pontoon a few years ago, which can still be heard on occasions when Town take the lead: four to draw. I suspect fans of many teams may feel similar pessimism during games, but it somehow feels ingrained in the Grimsby psyche. A while back, when my other half was going through a phase of creating dance tracks on his computer he actually made one called 'Town Are Gonna Lose This' which sampled David Burns saying those very words.

Have you ever wished, when Town are going through a particularly bad phase – some would say like the last ten years – that you could just stop being a Town fan? I don't mean stop going to games: that's easy to do. I mean stop looking out for their results, stop caring when they lose. I thought this must be impossible for any real fan to do, so I was brought up short at the weekend when reading an interview with Steve McQueen – you know, the artist who directed that film about slavery the media are constantly banging on about at the moment.

Apparently he used to be a "fanatical Tottenham fan" but it affected his day too much so "he decided not to be, and he now no longer gives the club a thought". How could he do that? Is it because he is an artist? Do their brains work differently? Or maybe the fact that big clubs are like public property makes it harder for someone to form that personal connection which fans form with clubs like Town? Any thoughts?

Now I need to tell you why I am once more furious with the club. I went online this morning to get my ticket for the FA Trophy game against Maidenhead and discovered that the only seats available are in the Upper Findus or the Main Stand. So, for the second time this season, I won't be able to watch a Trophy game from my season ticket seat in the Pontoon. And the club hasn't even had the guts to announce this decision yet. I am sorely tempted to buy a ticket in the away end – at least that would be behind the goal.

Here's a piece of non-news to end with: Danny North isn't coming back.