Cod Almighty | Diary

New players! On a Thursday! I know, right?

19 January 2017

Devon Diary writes: At last, it's over. No, not Britain's membership of the single market, rather Town's pursuit of Solihull Moors duo Akwasi Asante and Jamey Osborne. The least secret transfer deals in recent history were announced yesterday evening amid much feigned surprise from Town's online fanbase and reporters.

The more astute among us (and that's pretty much everybody apart from one or two tribes in the Amazon jungle who we haven't managed to speak to this morning because their broadband is playing up) will have known this was pretty much a done deal two weeks ago, when a club employee's Twitter chats/flirting with one of the targets said as much.

So, what took so long? The more cynical among us (and let's be honest, that's most of us. Did they used to put something in the water at Croft Baker?) might wonder if the last fortnight has simply been taken up with the clubs negotiating an increased fee to cover any fines that might be levied if the Moors complained to the FA about us tapping up players.

Of course, that's just supposition (with a nudge and wink), not an allegation or owt. But come on Town, didn't you ought to be more careful with this kind of thing? We hear that clubs have been fined for this kind of thing before, for approaching players and managers too. *cough* *Boston* *cough* *twoheadedmanagementdreamteam* [ahem]

Anyway, both Osborne and Asante are 24 years old and rated highly by a number of clubs in the third and fourth divisions, we understand. Osborne is a combative, box-to-box midfielder in the Jon Nolan mould, but minus the ginger quiff and perma-sneer, while Asante has been Solihull's leading goalscorer for the last two seasons, a mantle he inherited from one Omar Bogle. 

Both offer the club, fans and whoever prints the names on replica shirts ample opportunity for spelling mistakes but that's something we can overcome. All of us at Cod Almighty Towers welcome both players to Blundell Park and we look forward to them reproducing the form that clearly impressed Marcuses while at Solihull and leads him to believe that both players can step up a level. Let's leave any sneering about non-League players and mentality at the door, okay?

We can only guess how the team might line up for the visit of [insert name of this week's manager]'s Notts County on Saturday but I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest it will be less defensive than the line-up for last week's loss to the Grecians.

Is Asante too similar to Bogle to play alongside him? Will the gaffer ignore that and play him as part of a three-man attack with Adi Yussuf too? Does this mean we won't see young Ahkeem Rose break into the team this season? Will Osborne start alongside Disley and Comley? Which of our dozen or so central defenders will get the nod this week?

What's certain is that our squad is looking a tad on the large side and we should probably expect to see a few players heading out the door before the end of the month. Make sure you follow that chap on Twitter for an early heads-up on who exactly. 

In other news, we're pleased as Punch to announce that we will shortly be issuing Cod Almighty membership cards. These personalised cards, slightly too large for your wallet, will be the must-have accessory for any Town fan, although clearly aimed at exiled, student types. The cards allow members access to all the free CA online content they accessed before, plus priority access to our weekly meat draw tickets. If there are any left. By the way, we don't ever buy one, as we're all probably vegetarian, but fill yer boots.

We'll be dishing out the cards in the Rutland Arms before home games but if you can't make that, or if it's too busy and they're operating a one-in-one-out system, then we'll be taking the cards along to any away games which we might be at over the next couple of years. Get them now before they expire in November.

Up the Mariners!