Cod Almighty | Diary

I just wasn't made for these times

12 June 2025

God only knows what I'd do without Town. In these dog days of early summer with only a long tired hot pointless elite club tournament on C5 to look forward to and the long hot cycling races locked behind a paywall your Guest Diarist is taking solace from finding an orchid growing on his allotment. And the fact that Town have got some local sponsors. A lot of people seem to be taking agin the one with the funny rhyming name but me - well 3Q might be shorter, and has a nice logo, but anyone whose address is Park St. and who is helping the club finances, well that's good enough for me. You want cash for players? Swallow the dinner, embrace the irony.

Here we are, it's 5-15, there should be a song about it. I remember a line saying something about a clock saying SOS. That's it - Del Amitri. Don't worry about the good life when it won't arrive and so on. Town fans are worried about signings. They have stopped worrying about the new shirt, they need new people to wear it. It's an old a tradition as the hand-wringing and sullen moaning after England fail to dazzle in a tired pointless end of season friendly. People would be much better following the Miles Moss lead and writing a song about Amaluzor to the tune of the Beatles I'm a loser. Utter perfection.

I noticed that he affects Justin on the back of his shirt. Is there a protocol for this? Has anyone scribed a policy? Maybe there is a PhD thesis in the works? Surely there were not two Amaluzors in his team? But whatever, in this period when he is ours, and he could be anything, we can dream that he is the pacy, powerful, aggressive injury-free jigsaw piece we have been missing. As I sally forth to put my horny hands into the soil that is something to keep me going.

Oh, you want more? Well, if you are making sausage rolls add a good splash of water to the meat. It makes it soft and steams the pastry from the inside. See yer.