Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 5 May 2009

5 May 2009

To the legendary monikers of Tommy Taylor, Jermaine Palmer and John Lukic jr can be added the hallowed name of Mickaël Buscher, for Town's unseen attacking force has (as John Fenty (Con) might put it) left the building. One of Mike Newell's first signings for the Mariners last November, Buscher represents arguably the manager's only unsuccessful dip into the transfer market to date, having agreed an end to his contract a month three and a half weeks early without ever having troubled the Mariners' teamsheet. Latterly, indeed, the player was often also overlooked by Stuart Watkiss (remember him?) in the reserves. As Mr Re-Newell says, sometimes you take a chance on players like Buscher and sometimes it doesn't pay off. It was just that, when Russell 'Sort It' Slade brought the mysterious likes of Taylor and Palmer to the club - not to mention Glen Downey, Terry Barwick and Clint Marcelle - it was nearly all the time that it didn't pay off.

Count yourself lucky, in any case, that Town's pragmatic manager did not bring a rather better known player to the club this season in the grossly distended form of Robbie Fowler. After a crazy week or two of mid-season speculation which all seems slightly dreamlike now, the club announced that its informal discussions with the well-nourished former England forward had come to nowt, and Fowler would continue his career without knowing the joys of Blundell Park. Shrugging his flabby shoulders in between snoozing on his Berkshire-sized personal fortune, the player then followed in Graham Hockless' awesome footsteps by joining an Australian side called North Queensland Fury. And, indeed, fury seems to be growing among the club's supporters, who are increasingly wondering why their ticket money is further enriching an expensive import who shows no signs of getting himself down to fighting weight in time for the start of the Aussie season. "Just how good he still is will depend on what service we give him. Of course, there will be high expectations of him to do well for North Queensland. You are only as good as the service you get," said the already worried Fury manager Ian Ferguson. Good call, Newell.

There's a Mariners World video up called 'Sweeney - Will He Return?' Which sounds quite interesting on the face of it, doesn't it, Peter Sweeney having been dead good and everything on his recent loan from Leeds. The Diary suspects, however, that if the video could offer a definitive answer to this question then we would have learned about it already somewhere else. So I can't be arsed to watch it. Please do write in if you can, and I'm wrong.

Diary reader Malcolm Carson has emailed in response to our item here last week about the sophisticated Off The Post blog, which we simple fishy folk thought was dissing Sir John McDermott until the editor Rob Parker very patiently explained to us that "we deal in humour, irony and satire". What say you, Malcolm? "Like you, I had taken Rob Parker's words at their face value, thereby reminding us that irony can be a very dangerous weapon for the wielder when in the hands of the less astute. Reminiscent, this, of Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal' in which, as all your readers will recall, he suggests that a reasonable and economically sound way to reduce Irish poverty is to eat the babies and young children of the Irish poor thereby providing them with revenue and taking the burden off their shoulders. His suggestion included appetising recipes such as boiling or a tasty fricassee. Sadly, some took him at his word and believed the proposal to be eminently sensible. So even the greatest writers can lay themselves open to misinterpretation. Some comfort here for Rob Parker perhaps?" Excellent point, Malcolm, and an excellent example. Off The Post was clearly right all along in claiming to be "the best football blog on the planet". Does anyone still say 'dissing', by the way?

Last up today, it's Jon Spurr, who has emailed to ask: "Is there any chance of getting a mention in Tuesdays or Wednesday's Diary please for the fans' team who are taking on the Lincoln fans' team in the return leg of the charity match which is raising money for the two trusts and two local children's hospitals? Here's a link to the Telegraph article - please note they did fuck the date of the event up - it is Wednesday, doors open 6pm, kick off 7:30pm, £2 entry." Consider it done, Jon, because it is. And all the best with that - the cause is good and anything that makes people think again about all the 'local rivalry' nonsense in football is just fine by is. Speaking of Town's neighbouring teams, I take it all right-thinking readers will join the Diary in wishing Scunthorpe well as they prepare to face Bastard Franchise Scum in the third division play-offs. C'mon you Irons!