Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 29 August 2026

Division 4

Grimsby Town 2 Doyle (37), Cook (64)

Fleetwood Town 2 Davies (6), Potter (69)

Attendance: 7,067 (75 away fans)

How could they not choose the Housewife's Choice? If only David Jacobs was still alive, we could hire him to give it to Géza.

Do you hear that? No, it's not a bloke banging the side of a caravan, or next door's cat, it's a low purring sound as seven thousand Grimbarians watch another masterclass of pass and movement by the Géza from the Freeza.

Niiiiiiiiice.

If you scatter thorns don't go barefoot. Our striped Svengali of sexyballing was absolutely clear that the game was afoot today:

"I think we edged it, deserved to win the game, just…we shot ourselves in the foot and they got a foothold in the game…I feel we've let them get back into the game."

Yeah, whatever. Hey Dave, there's three days left in the summer sale, whatcha gonna do about it? Please answer Matt's question, tell the truth, he's so nice:

"We've got plans in place…if X and Y don't happen Z will happen and if X, Y and Z don't happen, we're fine where we are."

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It's easy to lay down the law when you're spoon-fed dollies by the sycophantic interviewer. Manager Matt constructed coherent sentences from snippets of soundbites in the annexe to section 3 of chapter 8 of the UEFA coaching manual:

"It didn't feel comfortable sometimes…we matched them at times today…we showed bucketfuls of desire…these are going to be right up there."

Ooh wait, there's more, he's turned the page!

"We tested them... disappointed we haven't got more, probably was an even game in the end, really proud…had them scrambling at the end I think."

Blah and indeed blah.

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Town deserved the draw a bit more; that's just about the long, the short and the tall of it.

There was good and bad and patches of indifferent with Artellball again squeezed and squashed by bigballers standing tall. Cylinders continue to misfire, though Cook and Vernam at least were better than they have been all month, their August angst coming to an end. Turi, eh. Turi. And Kacurri. Let's keep quiet about them, let's not let the world know our secrets.

The central core of four were not flawless but were the rock upon which this house was built. Doyle's effervescence, Maldini's stare, McJannet's campaigning in poetry and above everything the geezer from the freezer. These things are known knowns. The minor players repeated their lines appropriately and stood in the right places, but the walk-on characters and new cast members may need a little more rehearsal time. We're not quite ready for the West End opening.

What do you expect from a club built on the foundations of fraud. It's in DFB's DNA.

Their way to the future is in the recent past. They were Bromley without the Fat Andy antics: all tall, all the same build, all programmed to deceive. And, like Bromley, they were well-drilled and committed to that cause and effect. They are, effectively, a lazy journo's stereotype of a fourth division team, and they are impressively effective at being so effective that it brings down a lot of invective from those who consider football and rugby to be mutually exclusive.

Look, they were very good at it, they are what they intend to be. Hard to watch, hard to beat. No pushovers, which has a grim irony given they did like to push over passing stripes. Like Town, they will definitely not be bottom feeders this year and will be in that massive shoal fishing around the play-offs.

Onside despite the offsides.

Mr R Massey-Ellis

What's the word to sum this pastel poltroon up? Cowardly. He was imprisoned by the Referee's Paradox, being utterly in fear of making a game-defining decision, so defined the game by not making game-defining decisions. No, not the 'offsides', they were all linesmen led and, disgracefully, all correct; it was the determination to avoid sending off these stinking codheads for a cynical rotation of leg-ups and clatters.

By not wishing to spoil the game he spoiled the game: 5.316

A tetchy test of endurance and perseverance.

In a word: wrestlemania