Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 10 March 2018

Division 4

Grimsby Town 1 Berrett (91)

Port Vale 1 Worrall (10)

Attendance: 5198 (316 away fans)

New Kids in Town

Andrew Fox
Lovely hair and an adequate non-Dixonian full-back. The floppy-fringed Fox stood in the right places and sometimes stayed upright. Nothing special, historically mundane, but that's an upgrade these days.

Easah Suliman
A young gentleman who is clearly a significantly more talented footballer than those he currently shares polycotton fibres with, and was occasionally made to look silly by the inabilities of others to understand the future – his passes went wildly stray at times because our lot just aren't good enough.

He physically struggled with the rough and tumble of the jumble sale and resorted to grappling a little too obviously. Generally calm. Playing for Town will do him good, though may not be good for Town at this point in our terminal velocity. Right player, wrong time.

The people behind the Perspex had perspective and were perceptive in picking James McKeown for the post-match pick'n'mix bottle of plonk. They're not plonkers.

No man, woman, child or pigeon can deny the facts of life. Without James McKeown Town were doomed. He alone kept the score to single figures and indeed a single figure.

The same thing to every media outlet. At least he's consistent and coherent, being realistically positive without overlooking the reality of his new life:

"There are a million and one things we can look to improve on, but the lads showed they are willing to go until the 90th minute to get something from a game."

Yeah, until last week they were prepared to go to the 9th minute.

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Aspin is a mite miffed at McKeown’s magnificence, correctly observing that:

"If it hadn't have been for their goalkeeper, who had an inspired game today, we would have come back with the three points".

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At least you could see what the Jolleymen were trying to do, the outline sketches of a portrait of fast fizzing ping-pong ball. But…

At some point the ball was going to arrive at Rose. Or Berrett. Or Matt. What's the point in the players passing and moving quickly if Berrett turns backwards and rolls the ball to Clarke? Who chips it to Matt, eventually. Who can’t jump. Or control the ball. What's the point of Rose having the ball anyway? Jolleyball depends on eleven machine-drilled men moving together. When one part fails, the machine fails. Four inferior quality clogs result in the watch stopping.

But they did keep on keepin' on. And Jolley made changes in personnel, tactics and structure before and during the game. So change is a comin'. Same players though, isn't it. A dead cat can only bounce so far.

They were professional cynics, but their hearts were in it for the Battle of Blundell Park.

This version of the Valiants were better than their omnishambles in October, with a coherence and comfort with each other. And the ball. But they blew it, it's all their own fault for slapdashery at one of Clarke's short-long throws.

Bun-boy Harness was alarmingly slinky for about 20 minutes, then disappeared from view, while the old Tonge and Groove in midfield held Town's gruesome twosome in a Valiant vice. Well, who doesn't?

Should finish above Town, should stay up. There are a lot worse out there.

Prepared to back a dead horse that shows signs of life after death.

Mr S Stockbridge

Does Seb have a chalet down the Fitties? He's always here and striving towards ampleness and fairness in the land of Fenty, where jeers flow and the crowd chunters. A little slack on Valiant vices but overall disappointingly un-rubbish. So miserably mundanely non-rubbish we can't blame him for the lack of sunshine or boogie. How about 7.221.

A nudge, some sludge, a finger of fudge, a dreary drudge and time will judge on the importance of teeing Berrett up.

In a word: hopeful