Match stats: Bradford City v Grimsby

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 9 September 2023

Division 4

Bradford City 1 Gilliead (89)

Grimsby Town 1 Rose (43)

Attendance: 18,879 (1,729 away fans)

Cod Almighty man of the match: Gavan Holohan

Conteh was imperious in the first half, but a chimera for large portions of the second. You gotta give it to Gav, a man whose career tide was receding quicker than his hairline just a month ago is currently Mr Reliable. He did a lot of small things well – and in that heat too.

Our gaffer says

The overheating overlord wasn't overjoyed overall at the sting in the fail, but remember the first rule of Hurstian comedy is don't lose.

Oh, and Danny, this leopard ain't gonna change its spots:

"I think he'd probably like more crosses in the box than he gets at times but we want to play a certain way."

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Their gaffer says

Moany old Mark wasn't moaning much and was thrilled by his invention of a new formation, one that will shake the world of football to its core. Truly, we are all blessed to be at the birth of a nation's renaissance mojo:

"We changed it in the second half, and had to go more radical. We took a centre-half off and went to a four at the back, with two wingers to stop their full-backs."

Then again it would be radical for 1958.

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Marvellous, sumptuous, beautiful, imperious, fantastically superior.

Ordinary, plain, meek, drab, unexceptionally inferior.

First half utterly superb; the second half totally supine.

So typically Town, so typically Hurstian. Doing just enough is often not enough in the chaos of football. A sound base, but where are the frills?

We need a left-back, we need more intensity and frequency in attacking. Plus ça change.


Big crowd, big club, big blokes, big problems.

If this is what they have in reserve they are nowhere near good enough to go up. A shower, a shambles, a shocking waste of money. The change at half time made a difference, but they just became a more adequate mid-table fourth division team playing bargeball.

They kept throwing on bigger players and stuck it in the mixer. They were dominant but dreary. They had one shot on target all game. It happened to go in. Lucky for them.

As always with Bradford they really should be better and should be doing better. They won't go down, they shouldn't go up.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

A good old sing-song on a day out t'moors.

Official warning

Mr S Purkiss

A soft homer with a manic need to please the majority of those present. If a Jammy Dodger lay down for more than ten seconds he booked a Townite, but was strangely indifferent to the many manhandlings of Mariners.

Bloomin' rubbish, mostly: 5.35

Readers' digest

Stirring and purring; nudging and nurdling; and finally, Cyril, curdling.

In a word: sweltering


Bradford City: Lewis, Platt, Stubbs (Tomkinson 85), Kelly (Gilliead h-t), Halliday, Smallwood, McDonald (Tulloch h-t), Richards, Pointon, Walker (Osadebe 83), Derbyshire (Afoka 67)

Subs not used: Doyle, Oyegoke

Booked: Kelly, Afoka

Town: Eastwood, Mullarkey, Rodgers, Maher, Amos (Efete 73), Conteh, Gnahoua, Clifton, Holohan, Eisa (Pyke 79), Rose

Subs not used: Cartwright, Waterfall, Hunt, Ainley, Andrews

Booked: Eisa, Amos, Rodgers, Conteh