Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Tuesday 14 November 2023

FA Cup (1R)

Grimsby Town 7 Pyke (7, 45), Rose (16), Gnahoua (65, 85), Hunt (81), Andrews (86)

Slough Town 2 Dyce (20), Ogbonna (34)

Attendance: 3,079 (118 away fans)

Listen to the ground, there is movement all around, there is something goin' down. Can you feel it?

The corporate chompers have got Pyke fever, Pyke fever and they know how to show it.

Ah, but Jaunty Jazzy Jeff's least mundane Man of the Match was our most reliable defender: Danny, Danny Rose. Town were heading for humiliation until he headed off the line.

The tall one doesn't tell tall tales, for facts are facts and that's not an act as the Shaunie Person said it with tact:

"That was probably the least one-sided 7-2 ever…we know from last season from being on the underdog side of these types of games that it's not always easy as the bigger team to go out and win, but we're pleased to win in the end."

All the right things in the right order, for in the end they were washed up on an empty beach but he had pride in the name of Slough:

"For 60 minutes I didn't think there was much in the game, but the manner of the defeat in the end looks bad. I'm extremely proud of how far we've come - Hayes and Yeading, Salisbury, Ebbsfleet and then taking Grimsby to a replay"

Never mind the quality feel the width of the victory.

It looked too easy, it was too easy, so they took it easy. Details? Facts? Or do you want some impressions of an evening of lights and mood music? Frank Spencer, that's the impression I got. Town won because they are full-time athletes and could last longer, that's all.

Most were anonymous chuggers, but some chugged more anonymously than others. Amos was out of his depth again as Little Ogbonna stripped him of his dignity. Again. Green was an incapable lump of deadwood drifting on a tossing, turning sea of blue, whilst Holohan was bereft of adequacy. Poor old Luke looked like an old man chasing squirrels off his patio. By the time he got there they'd all gone, nuts and all. But he can still head the ball, so there's that, at least.

Don’t get excited, we're still short.

They outplayed Town. They ran quicker than Town. They played football better than Town. And then they ran out of steam in the 68th minute. Town never let them reboil the kettle and that was that. The natural world order was restored.

They played better on grass than they did on plastic.

And then they ran out of puff.

Admirable and thoroughly deserving of all the applause they got from those with more than one eye on the prize of a stuffing at Oxford. In the end they were just enthusiastic blokes against paid athletes.

Disengaged, distracted and disarmed by the weight of numbers of goals, if not the weight of Scott Davies.

Mr J Miles

Young Mr Orange followed the script.

Booking stripes for slender winkles and generally seeing fouler play by the bigger boys was simply maintaining the magic of the cup by being not unkind to the unhuge team. It is magic, never believe it's not so.

And so it's not his fault that the default score for tangerine dreamers is 5.888.

Who says a fitness and conditioning coach doesn't get us seven goals on a Tuesday?

In a word: deceptive