Match stats: Grimsby v Swindon Town

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 20 April 2024

Division 4

Grimsby Town 2 Smith (75), Wilson (85)

Swindon Town 0

Attendance: 6,752 (231 away fans)

Sponsors' man of the match: Liam Smith

Well, he scored.

Cod Almighty man of the match: Toby Mullarkey

Well, he stopped them scoring.

Our gaffer says

C'mon, C’mon, hurry up John T, come on, we're all going down the pub:

"We've done us jobs but I'm not stood here going let's celebrate other than we're going to your leaving do and you're buying me a pint"

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Their gaffer says

Mad Gav's mad, but then again, he's always been mad.

"We were just blunt and then in the second half we were just poor and rolled over. Maybe we were lethargic travelling up to Grimsby, but they are just excuses, the fans have travelled five and a half hours to come here and we have to do better."

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A formless, shapeless shambles in stripes. And then Town scored and the angels did sing.

It's a simple thing we see, it's not complicated. We've got a squad full of substitutes, it's a genuine problem to work out and it's why Hurst was substituted for another guy. And you may ask yourself, were they right or were they wrong, they may have even said to themselves "My God, what have we done?" But it is done, this season is done, and we'll be done with half this lot. It's not their fault they were signed. It will be if we keep too many.

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was as we slink into the summer.

One more thing, Big Dave, don't ever play The Wolds Panther as a wing-back again. Ever. Please, pretty please with knobs on. Needs must, but really, must we?


Swinsome, Slosesome, ah it's merely Swindon being Swindon, the team that put the wilt in Wiltshire. A perennial non-bloomer. Every dire team in dire need of divine intervention thanks their god that they've got the ropey Robins at home in the dying embers of a dead season.

Give them their due, they did try their very best to avoid disturbing the peace. Gav's gerbils had to work very hard at not working hard, to find ways to not shoot, to not score, to not tackle, to not mark, to not accidentally win a game of football.

They performed their task magnificently. We couldn't have asked for more accommodating visitors. They even picked their litter up before they went home.

Slacking and lacking and finally sent packing. If they actually had a manager there'd be another sacking to add to the Grimsby Reaper's toll.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

There's no wind left in our soul. We’ve just grown old.

Official warning

Mr M Coy

Like our pleasingly pathetic opponents this man knew his role in life today. Oh come on Marty, don't be coy, you knew didn't you, you really understood that the bargain basement world is a better place without Sutton or Colchester. Season to taste (or whatever your taste is for next season's bottom bumblers).

He'd have gotten more but there was so little to do apart from start and stop the game somewhere between three and five o'clock and then go home to his tomato soup: 7.99

Readers' digest

Thank you Swindon for being West Germany and Austria.

In a word: torschlusspanik


Town: Eastwood, Smith, Mullarkey, Rodgers, Maher, Vernam (Hume 72), Holohan (Andrews 72), Thompson (Bramwell 90+3), Green (Khouri 87), Wood (Ainley 72), Wilson

Subs not used: Auton, Eisa

Booked: Holohan

Swindon Town: Bycroft, Godwin-Malife, Hunt (McCarthy 78), Blake-Tracy, Ofoborh, McGregor (Elbouzedi 65), Devoy, McEachran (Drinan 73), Kokolo, Austin, Glatzel (Hepburn-Murphy 65)

Subs not used: McGurk, Aguilar, Evans