Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 23 November 2024

Division 4

Grimsby Town 0

Colchester United 1 Gordon (78)

Attendance: 4,952 (218 away fans)

Whoever it was it was who the kids in tow wanted to meet, so probably not Dave Worthington, who at least kept his shape and kept it tight when walking around the ground. If we can be bothered to find out one day this FACT! it will be recorded.

Dave Worthington's mum used to work in the bakery at Ramsdens. Now that is a FACT!

We can't keep giving it to McJannet just because we like the way he runs his fingers through his hair. He did his job, that's all, and that's not enough for lauding on days like these.

Satnav Dave needs a reboot, he seems stuck in an interview from another game, in another universe. Sometimes a pudding does not need more eggs, let us leave the words of this prophet to be written on the dressing room walls:

"I thought we had by far the better chances in the whole game. Lots of positives in terms of creating big chances.

We need to be more ruthless, if we'd have done that we'd have been out of sight before they had their one chance in the whole game.

By far the better team...created lots of chances...it was our best home performance for three or four games. It's a step in the right direction in terms of performance."

All those chances eh? That'd be two, Dave. Two. We can hear you, we did see it. We may have been wearing woolly hats but we still have eyes.

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The old imp whose career has limped since he left the city with the hill was delighted to have weathered the storm as his latest band of brigands stormed Blundell Park. How did he do that? A simple man with a simple plan:

"Resolute…effort…grit…spirit…determination…energy. We started so well. We knew they were a team that likes to find their rhythm so we pressed them."

Yeah, Danny Boy, and trolling with those Revie rolls too.

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Do we need to say anything more? Every post-match interview the opposition tells us how and why they defeated Satnav Dave's fantabulous contraption, why this calliope keeps crashing to the home ground.

Flanks, concentration, slack thoughts in both penalty areas, indecisiveness, lack of height, lack of speed, flimsy bodies, a system easily foiled, a set up primed for failure. Even Pep is failing at Pepball these days.

It's easier to destroy than create, we, everyone, can do the easy part these days.

Let this be the nadir, the line must be drawn here. This far and no further.

Far from awful, occasionally impressive, mostly perfectly adequate. Tovide was a tossing, turning terror whilst Flash Gordon, the scoring substitute, looked a superior being. Everyone else was all right, if a little anonymous in an adequate way.

Power, pace, organisation and collective will. Far too competent to go down, what are they doing messing around down with the dregs?

Our dried voices, when we whisper together, are quiet and meaningless, as wind in wet grass.

Mr M Woods

Marty in the Middle loped luminously and did his very best to keep out of the way, striving manfully to stop anything that might result in excitement. Both teams twigged that if they held their head for long enough play would stop, but even Marvellous Marty couldn't find a way to turn back the tide of history.

He was perfectly fine, he was consistent, like an experienced supply teacher, just keeping time and keeping order and keeping the lunatics off the grass: 7.331

A paralysed force, gesture without motion, this was a dead land.

In a word: drips