Cod Almighty | Diary

According to the Book of Cyril

1 December 2025

If it's a non-game weekend then on this traditional day of moans it must be your Deviant Diary, dutifully despatched into the dark world of wintertainment to lighten the load and brighten your life with diverting morsels, Mariner adjacent facts and figures.

It is a Monday, there wasn't a game, it is your Deviant Diary hoping to give you hope to carry on. If that doesn't light up your life, perhaps this will.

Hold on to that cheesy Christmas hat of yours! In just ten year's time, if the United Kingdom is awarded the World Cup for The Women of the World our green and pleasant land will be a facility used by the female footballers of another nation. Will Town have built Not-So-Cheapside by then? Right, so who'll be the Martin Peters of Moaning, the very first to complain about the sudden impact upon Town's preparations for the 2035/36 pre-season? Go ahead, make our day.

Here we are again waiting for something to turn up, half way between a calamity and cup catastrophe, or perhaps mid-way between a catalyst and catharsis. If you're one of those people who sees a glass then it must be one or the other. Remember, remember, we're crap in November, except all the times when we're not. And that's not very often. I have seen the data and it's as clear as an unmuddied lake, as an azure sky of deepest summer, you can rely on Town to drift towards December.

Yes, good riddance November, where the underlying performances were seemingly satisfactory to the man with a development plan for every man and boy. Ah, fine margins eh? That's just another way of saying "if", as is your young person's xG. If Town had scored with every shot they'd have won every game. Fine margins. A weaker set of fans might be moved to re-examine their faith, if in nothing else at least in the law of probability. If only we could wait and not be tired of waiting. Please don't keep us a-awaiting for the next win.

He's done it again, he's done it again! Erstwhile Cod Almighty diarist Mr Lloyd Griffith just flippin' threw himself at it, inserting another Town reference into his prime time cosy crime-athon. Gritts and Luton's Micheal Reddy guaranteed to get 30 goals a season? The data tells us something a little different. Let's cut the local lad some Trevor Slack and congratulate him on getting Marty mentioned. What next? Colin from Louth checking on the internet for news of his favourite football team or a cheeky comparison of Dolphin Cove with the actual factual Dolphin?

Actually, factually, I was in Louth on Saturday. Well, it's something to do. Two Port Vale players walked into the road in front of me as I was setting out on that dreary day of drenching rain. I didn't run them over, well, it's not something to do is it. The dozy duo had sneaked out of their hotel and were sauntering back with a bag from McDonalds. Perhaps it's in their personal development plan.

The big build up to the big cup match begins tomorrow. Town fans know what to expect, and that is all that they are prepared to believe in.

There must have been a moment, at the beginning, where we could have said "No". But somehow we missed it.