Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 31 March 2009
31 March 2009
The Diary stayed up late last night watching a film about Brian Keenan and John McCarthy being held hostage in Lebanon. Chained to the wall, their faces covered with hoods and blindfolds, beaten and humiliated for years before their final release, the touching kinship that developed between them was their one consolation in the depths of despair. Substitute the fans of Grimsby Town Football Club for Brian Keenan and John McCarthy, and our worst season in 130 years of history for their dusty prison cell in Beirut, and it becomes quite clear that the touching kinship that developed between them is a bit like Ryan Bennett. Our one consolation in the depths of despair has been named in the team of the week thing for the fourth division, anyway (just as his partner in central defence, Rob Atkinson, was last week), following another magnificent display at home to Aldershot last Saturday. Does anyone know what happened with that new contract he was supposed to be signing?
With no match for the Mariners this evening, all eyes are on the action elsewhere in the fourth division - most specifically the action in the northern Home Counties, and that's not a phrase you hear every day. Town's partners in misery Luton and Barnet are at home to Rotherham and away at Wycombe respectively, with all that this entails for the relegation shake-up. Some eyes, meanwhile, will be on Blundell Park this afternoon, where the reserves will take on Bradford. Flaxen-maned noob Jonathan Lund will make a belated debut, says our superb new official website, and Danny Boshell will play in his latest bid to not be injured all the time. The squad of 16 listed by the SNOS includes no trialists who played for Maidenhead United reserves less than 48 hours previously.
You can say what you like about Positive Deadly John 'Fentydome' Fenty (Con), but you can't accuse him of not laying on free coaches to take season ticket holders to Town's Easter Saturday clash with Notts County at Meadow Lane. In another shrewd promotion, the suddenly-quite-PR-savvy-after-all Mariners chairman has this time acted to forestall any complaints from STHs about the hugely successful recent see-Town-for-a-fiver offers leaving them short-changed. "The free bust tickets will be given to season ticket holders on a first come basis," promises the superb new official website, offering up some golden opportunities for smutty double entendres for anyone desperate and time-rich enough to conjure them, which rules out the Diary on the latter count.
Last week, you might remember, the Diary told you about Cod Almighty's sponsorship of Tom Newey this season; ironic applause, of course, is commonplace but, ahead of the game as ever, this website has pioneered a new concept in ironic sponsorship. The deal means we get the shirt off Newey's back - but what to do with it? Moritz has emailed to suggest: "Sell it for money, which will be spent on getting a photographer to take a good picture of Conlon. He looks utterly gormless on the BBC's article about the glorious victory over Gillingham. Let's not make it look like we're recruiting our players from a special school please?" Nice idea, Moritz, but it might take more than the cash raised by this particular fire sale to pretty up Barry Conlon. I mean how much would you bid for Tom Newey's shirt?