Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 1 April 2009

1 April 2009

Sensational news from the Mariners this morning as chairman John Fenty responded to the shelving of plans for Town's new stadium by announcing a groundsharing deal with King$ton Communica... oh, I can't be arsed. Two goals from Nathan Jarman secured a straightforward win for the reserves yesterday afternoon at home to Bradford. A cool finish after 18 minutes put Stuart Watkisses's side in front after Danny North looked up and passed the ball, and The Jarman - who, notwithstanding the first team's improved form since the departure of the Luton Three, really should be back in the 16 this Saturday at least - robbed Bantams keeper Matthew Convey to make it two-nil with five minutes left. Debutant Jonathan Lund made an impressive close-range stop for Town in the first half but was otherwise largely untroubled, and Stuart McCall is understood to be handing in his resignation letter later this afternoon.

It's hardly a new thing for Conservatives to seek the complete emasculation of the trade unions, but it is kind of newsworthy that John Fenty (Con) has hit out at the Professional Footballers' Association for paying the wages of players at financially struggling clubs. The Town chairman, who has done well to keep the Mariners out of administration but does kind of like to go on about it a bit, is trying to stoke up a bit of outrage against relegation rivals Bournemouth and Chester - who the PFA has lent money to so that the players can be paid - with one of those official statements on the SNOS. "It is immoral that clubs are supported this way," rages Fenty, blithely unaware that it might be immoral for a semi-retired multi-millionaire to argue that workers who may have been expected to support a family on as little as 250 quid a week should be left without any pay at all because of bad decision making by rich idiots in the boardroom.

Phil Barnes has given an interview to the Grimsby Telegraph of several hundred words which might as well have just been two: "Who, me?" Responding to "rumours of a dressing room divide", the former Town keeper bangs on for ages about how innocent and whiter-than-white he is, in terms that will only serve to exacerbate most readers' curiosity about what really went on between Mr Re-Newell and the Luton Three. "To be thrown aside so near to the end of the season is upsetting. In my opinion I was a good servant to Grimsby Town and the way it was all done was very harsh," sobs the player, curiously omitting to mention the time Sky TV came to do that crossbar challenge thing and he introduced himself to the camera as "Phil Barnes, goalkeeper, out of contract this season".

Town have announced details of the free coaches that will take season ticket holders - and, it transpires, their families - to the Easter Monday fixture at Notts County. "The 10 Coaches... will be given away on Friday (3rd April 2009) & Monday (6th April 2009) - between 9am & 5pm," declares the club's superb new official website, presumably meaning seats on the coaches rather than the coaches themselves, although you never know. Tickets for the game will be available at a cost of TWENTY FUCKING QUID FOR FUCK'S SAKE from the Blundell Park ticket office from Monday.

Lastly from the Diary today, an email from Tom Carpenter, who asks: "In the [superb new] official site's invitation to pay the equivalent of the GNP of Ghana for a chance to play against John Fenty, Brian Stein and friends, there is a reference to the 'pyramid of teams' that play at Blundell Park. Any idea what that means?" Answers on an e-postcard, please, Diary readers...