Cod Almighty | Diary

What would Snake Wolfbane do?

28 March 2014

Well, where to start? Not because there is so much news but because there is so little. Everyone is fit for Hereford tomorrow except for Big Nut. Town will probably be led up front by their most in-form, bestestest striker: the prolific Fennel John-Lewis, they call him a veg, they call him a veg, Fennel John-Lewis, they call him a veg.

The former Short one has been telling the world why the veg starts so many games, but your Diary With No Name really couldn't be arsed to listen to his poor reasoning. Suffice it to say that I would probably disagree with it if I'd read it. This would be partly because I would find his logic illogical, but mostly because I'm a contrary shit.

However contrary I am, though, I'm not so contrary as to want the manager to be removed from Blundell Park and hung, drawn and quartered on the site of the Old Market Place just because we gave a good display but were still beaten by the runaway leaders of the division. Oooh, we're not in the play-offs yet and we've only got three games in hand.

Hereford sit just above the relegation zone and haven't won a game for a very long time. Easy win then? Of course not. Only the sort of person that sits in the Pontoon, but not on row P of course, would utter such glib nonsense. Only the sort of person who wants the manager sacked because we're not top and already promoted would put forward such a view.

It seems that my football viewing days and nights are becoming blighted by this sort of 'fan'. It's not really my place to berate and maybe belittle people who go to Blundell Park but really! I mean come on. Do you really have to shout SHOOT every time someone crosses the halfway line with the ball and there is a five-yard space in front of them? Come on! A lot of the time this is Shaun Pearson and sometimes it's Sam Hatton.

Do people have to call for a red card every time a Town player is tackled in a hard but firm manner and in doing so ends up on the floor? Just because the ball is crossed into the box, it doesn't mean it's a "great cross" or that when Aswad Thomas crosses the ball it's "shit Azzy". Advising our defenders to "take him out" when "he" is in our box is not a sound piece of advice. It's not a clinical pass if no-one is anywhere near it. The only clinic it wouldn't be out of place in is the blind clinic. Shouting YES every Time a town player attempts a pass is just, well, it's just very very irritating.

Last but not last, advantage. When the ref waves play on and we advance towards the goal and get a shot off that narrowly misses, you can't scream at the ref to give us the free kick that we may have had when he waved play on. It's not rugby. Just because we didn't score, doesn't mean we didn't gain any advantage, you moron. The advantage was being able to play on. There's support and theres blind stupidity.

Hmmm, I may have got a bit carried away there. Anyway, Hereford – or do we call them Ormiston Acadamy these days? I thought they deserved their point earlier in the month and hopefully Hurst will have learnt how to combat them from that game.

I've written this on a Thursday night again, so I'll leave this open for the editor to edit just in case some world-shattering news happens on the Friday, you know, something like Liam Hearn leaving. So, farewell until next time the CA regular diarists feel like a rest and they think: "Who the bloody hell can we get in now?"