Cod Almighty | Diary
If you have tears, prepare to shed them now
9 May 2017
Your original/regular Diary is preparing for the worst. I've booked the morning off work. I've got a blanket on the sofa and the laptop fully charged. I've laid in a vast quantity of Pringles, Pot Noodles, Toblerone, and a range of other high-nutrition comfort foods. I've stacked up enough boxes of tissues to absorb the tears of a herd of elephants. And my dress rehearsal to meet the tragedy of next month's general election result will be the departure of Craig Disley from Grimsby Town Football Club.
He's off, isn't he? Slade's as good as said so. Far more than his ability as a player – which remains considerable – our captain/leader/legend/sexy ginger bastard will be missed above all for his commitment to the club. I don't know about you, but not so many years ago, watching the Sweeneys and Conlons of this world breeze listlessly around Town's revolving door for just as long as it took to trouser my season ticket money left me wondering whether I'd emotionally relate to my football club and its players ever again. All that's changed back for the better because of Craig Disley.
I've been a Town fan for almost four decades now. However many more I make it through, the image of Dizza's tearful outburst after last season's play-off semi-final against Braintree will figure perhaps more prominently than any other among the memories I hold forever. And I'm pretty sure that'll go for most of you who read these words too. Thanks, Craig. Even more than any other hero of the past couple of years, you gave us our club back.
In 2017 no event is too tragic for clickbait, be the tragedy for a nation, an institution, or just a single fourth division footballer – so, naturally, you can follow today's retention or release of players live as it unfolds on Town's soon-to-be-renewed newly superb new official website. When I say live as it unfolds, of course, I mean in a desultory, flickering, madly-clicking-the-F5-button sort of way, three quarters of an hour after everyone else has seen it on Twitter. But you know, you can watch games live online in Norway next season, and there are far worse ways to spend your life.
Naturally, Calum Dyson left Blundell Park after his loan finished and scored for Everton's reserves/under-23s/development squad/next season's loanees to Macclesfield XI. And while we were all looking the other way, the Football League has held a vote among its clubs on the format of next season's Football League Trophy. This time, bizarrely, there was apparently no need for chairmen and non-chairmen to be wined and dined in a Portugal holiday resort beforehand – though, rather less bizarrely, there has been this much fan consultation: no fan consultation. See you next season back on the boycott barricades.