Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 1 November 2004

1 November 2004

"He let himself down, he's let his team-mates down, he's certainly let me down and he's let the football team down." Mr Russell Slade forgot to mention his school and his mum and dad - oh, and the fans - but the litany of deflation that attaches to Ashley Sestanovich's contemptible act of dummy-spitting on Saturday is a pretty extensive one. In case you missed it, Transit Stan considered himself far too good to be named as a mere substitute for Saturday's meeting with Swansea at Blundell Park and, like Elvis when the backstage rider provided only two hundred fried peanut butter sandwiches, left the building in disgust. In fairness to the player - who looks about as much like Thierry Henry as Des Lynam could be mistaken for Charlotte Church - Noddy's decision to omit both Sestanovich and Thomas Pinault from his starting line-up is a pretty astonishing one even by fourth division standards, but BP is not the place for Premiership-wannabe tantrums, and in the Diary's view Stan must either apologise profusely pronto or sod off back to Bramall Lane.

Town face a long and hazardous trip to Exeter in the first round of this season's FA Cup. As Lancaster Gate was hit by a power cut around Saturday teatime, and Radio Humberside's David Burns made a pitch for a job on Talksport or the Daily Mail by reeling out a barrage of "WHAT A FARCE!" mock outrage, an untelevised cup draw matched the Mariners with non-League opposition for the first time since the 1970s, er, Rhyl or Blyth or Gateshead or somebody, not sure, can't remember the website now. Anyone? That concludes the paragraph about the cup draw; matches will be played on the weekend of the thirteenth and fourteenth of November. Oh, and a light bulb blew in the Diary's front room this morning, Burnsy, so Cod Almighty should sack me, surely?

Though he is loaned to Northwich Victoria, and will continue to be for a second month, Young Greg is no further from Mr Russ's thoughts than Darren Mansaram, as the promising Town defender was denied permission to participate in the Vics' FA Cup fourth qualifying round on Saturday, just as Dazmaz was before him at Halifax, type thing. Anyone hoping to see Young Ashley Hildred fire a hat-trick for GTFC at the Millennium Stadium in May will be cursing the day they were born, however, after the slightly less promising Town defender joined Young Greg at the Drill Field at the weekend on another loan and was allowed to play as Northwich went down 2-1 to Vauxhall Motors.

A depressing look round the divisions at the weekend's goalscoring exploits, meanwhile, reveals goals for former Mariners Georges Santos, Darren Wrack, Jamie Forrester and Daryl Clare, and another hat-trick for that knobhead Jevons. Also on the mark were Adam Proudlock, Delroy Facey, Clive Platt and Clyde Wijnhard, all of whom have rejected transfers to Blundell Park in recent times, together with failed GTFC trialists Marc Bridge-Wilkinson and Kevin Ellison. Oh, that was last Tuesday though. Still, eh. If we'd won every match we played, we'd be top of the league, you know.

"Pick that teddy up Ashley, I say pick that teddy up!" writes the ever incisive Dick of Legbourne of the weekend's shenanigans, in an email to the Diary. "A phrase often heard coming from the cobbles of Weatherfield, but now ringing out Russ' office at BP. Well for me, little butcher Ash from Coro would probably have scored more goals than big striker Ash has. One goal in 15 full games is hardly prolific is it? Clearly the lines of similarity that were drawn with Henry were based on stuff off the pitch 'cos I've seen little if not bugger all on it that even vaguely resembles a top goalscorer." Ah, but have you see Jon Daly play yet, Dick? "So Mr Sestanovich," continues our epistler, "now you have driven away from BP in your M reg Ford Mondeo, presumably back to Yorkshire, could we kindly ask that you go via Halifax and ask Mr I can score goals at any level Mansaram if he wouldn't mind popping back. Think Russ wants to see him in his office asap!" It's a good point, Dick; in fact if I needed to distract attention from a load of rubbish I'd written a few weeks ago about an unpaid tax bill winding up the club by the end of October or something, then I'd start a campaign about it.