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Diary - Friday 10 February 2006

10 February 2006

When Labour got completely stuffed in the by-election last night they naturally blamed it on "local issues" like a madcap scheme to raise the tolls on the Forth Bridge by 400 per cent or something. Meanwhile good ol' Grimsby MP Austin Mitchell has been battling away to get Humber Bridge toll subsidies for buses taking folks from Grimsby to Hull. From the Look North coverage of the matter it would seem that the only few people who travel on this service are those who abs-bloody-lutely have to. Which is why the bus company is trying to stop the loss-making route. Your Guest Diarist, who was lucky enough to be brought up in a generation that took a ferry to Hull and who watched, as an awe-struck 11-year-old, a man buying a bottle of brown ale from the ferry buffet at eight in the morning, takes perverse pleasure in the fact that there are obviously still so few reasons to cross the river to the damnable hellhole that is Hully Gully land.

But enough of this tmesis-ridden waffle, for Mr Russell Slade has chosen today to share his thoughts with the BBC on his possible future career at Grimsby Town. In a nervous and insecure-sounding interview Mr Slade makes public the position with regard to his contract, which expires at the end of this season: "The club are talking about a two or three-year deal. I've been told no later than the end of February and the chairman John Fenty has told me he's going to circulate his proposal to the other board members. It should be on the agenda at the next board meeting, though I don't know when that will be." Quite why Mr Slade felt the need to share this information, one can only speculate. He goes on to remind us that he only inherited four senior players on arrival and implies that he will be more than happy to be in the top seven come the end of the campaign. Apparently the reason that Town may not hang on to an automatic promotion slot is down to money: "We're punching above our weight at Grimsby. We run a tight ship at the club, but what we've achieved should give other teams hope. Our budget just doesn't compare with the other top-six clubs. Our budget is sensible and at the end of the season we won't be running at a loss." Hmmm. Town are in the top six of the attendance league in this division and have recently turned down a whopping cash offer for Michael Reddy. If, as Mr Slade claims, Town are punching above their weight in the fourth division, then where do they belong? If that is his mindset, maybe it's the manager who is trying to punch above his weight.

Alleged criminal Steve Evans, who has delayed his day in court in order to attend an FA coaching course, has been also been practising his PR-speak on Boston's official website: "Obviously we will give Greavesy every opportunity to be fit, but with both Elly and Whitey desperate to play, we have an excellent choice of cover. The boys have worked hard in training this week, with our shape and team play looking really sharp. Local derbies always seem to be more important, but within the football club, we must not lose sight of the fact that it is only another three points at stake." The three players mentioned are all defenders, of course, and the last sentence is a coded allusion to the expectation that Town will finally start winning routinely at home. As for the appearance or otherwise of Futcher junior, Sir John of McDermott has spoken: "Ben is a Grimsby player at the end of the day and we can play him if we want to. I know where Steve Evans is coming from, but we pay his wages and if Russell decides he needs to play Ben because of injuries, then I don't think there's anything wrong with that." So there.

The Grimsby Telegraph has had a word with Mr Slade and reports that Macca's back went again in training and that Rob Jones is still grimacing about his privates. Jones the Lump still has one on his toe and Mr Whittle is still a way away from being in contention for a place in the Town team. JPKK has declared himself bench-fit, having played there many times recently. The Telegraph, in a masterpiece of provincial journalism, also reports Slade as saying: "It is a derby game of course and that means it will be as tight as ever with the usual clich?? of form going out of the window as true as ever." No wonder the owners are desperate to sell this rag, eh? See yer.