Cod Almighty | Diary

Just the one candle for now

25 June 2014

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday London Diary, happy birthday to me. That's right cod lovers, it's your London Diary's official first birthday of writing the Wednesday entry. What a day. I've yet to receive a card or some cake, but like any other large corporation I'm sure there's a whipround happening at CA Towers. You guys.

I'm also writing this diary earlier than normal as I have to do some driving later and wanted to ensure that you had something to read on your lunch break. I'm nice like that. I just hope that nothing happens in the meantime. I doubt it will, as aside from that video appearing on t' web (with a cameo from yours truly), there really is nada to talk about.

Jamal Fyfield has signed for Welling. Is that news? It is today. If Craig Disley went to get his hair done today, I would write about it. I always used to go to Fred's Place when I was younger, then went to The Gentry when I was a young man and now a man comes round every five weeks.

A bloke that we may have been targeting has also gone to another club: Ricky Miller has left Boston to join Luton. Was he ever a target? We'll never know because Hurtsttststts plays his cards close to his chest. What a joker.

England are officially coming home, just like the song suggests. Why are England rubbish? Well, one good point raised this morning on Twitter was that since the arrival of the Premier League, some 22 years ago, not one English manager has won the title. That's worrying and upsetting all in one.

Speaking of upsetting, Luis Suarez has bitten another player. That's right, a human being, with millions of other human beings watching, has bitten another human being for no reason. I sincerely hope that he gets a ban for a year. What an awful human being. Maybe not jail though, just a ban. Sometimes I really hate footballers with their hair and their money and their German whips. I love all the Grimsby players though. They're nothing like that. Not now anyway.

Happy birthday also to Nick Hegarty, 28 today. What a good lad he is. UTM!