Cod Almighty | Diary

See you on Femø, punk

26 June 2014

Suarez is innocent. The toothmarks are fake. And Justin Whittle didn't really smash Alan Shearer in the face. That scar is superimposed every time using Photoshop and Final Cut Pro. Wake up, people.

Greetings and welcome to Thursday with your original/regular Diary, rapidly approaching my 13th year in the seat. You alright, buggerlugs? I was just climbing out of the bath this morning when I realised a notable omission from our famous Concise Grimmo Dictionary. Really? Really. If we ever get around to a second edition it will have to include the word 'badly'. When I say badly, I mean the adjectival rather than the adverbial usage, meaning 'ill'. And when I say famous, I mean 'widely copied and pasted into emails and Facebook statuses for the best part of a decade without giving us a single bloody credit'.

Season ticket sales are still up on last year, which is a remarkable achievement considering that season ticket sales last year were reported as being up on the year before, and season ticket sales the year before were reported as being up on the year before that, and so on and so on. More sceptical diaries than me might be tempted to conclude that statistical jiggery-pokery is afoot. Me, I'm convinced that either we started from a very low base or there are now more GTFC season ticket holders than the combined populations of China, India and Steel's chippy on a spring bank holiday.

Part of the credit for the aforementioned remarkable achievement goes to Matt Maude and James Willis, the co-directors of We Are Town. We Are Town, of course, is the new one-minute promo film which has had everyone saying: "Cor, that's ace!" and forever securing the position of GTFC comms hero Jack Johnson as Person On Blundell Park Staff Who Actually Knows What They're Doing. There's a nice little interview with Maude and Willis today at the Grimsby Telegraph, which makes a nice change from reading about players who aren't Grimsby players joining clubs who aren't Grimsby.

Last up today, the Diary will join both our club and our local rag in urging you to support the two Town fans – Dan Humphrey and CA's very own Pat Bell – who are climbing Mount Snowdon this Sunday to raise funds for the Mariners Trust. In fact we'll go one better than the club and the local rag, who both commit a cardinal sin of digital media by giving the web address marinerstrust.co.uk and not actually making it into a link. To sponsor the intrepid duo, visit the Mariners Trust website and pledge your support. Now. Good luck, Pat and Dan!