Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 17 May 2012

17 May 2012

It's so exciting I could crush a grape. A Thursday in the off season is like late-era Crackerjack: a faint echo of distant comic glories, vaguely yet fondly remembered with hope that things can on get better. It's a Deviant Diary, it's a rainy day and ain't we got the blues.

Who cares about sour-faced Scots in a land far away that many of us know little. Dalglish and McLeish are off the leash. It's like the highland clearances out there in Moominland.

What news of the Grimsbyfolk? Err, hmmm, lots of local cricket, nasty people not being nice, and Pennells have lots of lovely hanging baskets, which is not believed to be reference to sad old Serge's career prospects. Ah, yes, here we are: a figure of fun finally pops up after the Tory trembling local elections. It's the tree feller of Humberston Avenue, the manic tie straightener and now officially styled as Figurehead Fenty. Lash him to the bow, cap'n, and set sail for the land of make believe! The grey man of Grimsby takes off his grey hat to the short one and the shouty one. After a full season of getting to know you, getting to know one another, S 'n' S know everything, and nothing can go wrong now with 22 professional footballers, wild staring eyes and a strong urge to fly off the handle. Yes, John Fenty (top-flop, side parting) has set out his agenda for action, his Mariner menu. We've heard it all before, just the names change. Like Ron's 22 this time, more than any other time this time, he's gonna get it right.

And that, dear, dear Johnnie, is just about it for this dank day. Everyone's on holiday, everyone's gone to the moon, everyone's got something better to do with their lives. I'm off to 'Ull in 43 minutes, so perhaps not quite everyone.

Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye.