Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 10 April 2006
10 April 2006
With Mr Regular Diary suddenly unavailable as he has to go to the shops (and thereby reconnecting with his Grimsby roots) Deviant Diary slashes and burns his way through the jingle-jangle-jungle that is the start of the most important weekend ever this weekend.
For those roaming the Earth outside of North East Lincolnshire, news of the Carlisle Five game was brought to you by good old Auntie Beeb. It's good to know that some traditions never die: Radio Five managed to have a reporter who not only avoided naming any Town player, but also the word 'Grimsby'. Marvellous! What a professional! So for those who want to know how Grimsby Town played, you'll just have to wait for our substitute match reporter to finish making his eighth cup of tea of the day. He promises it'll be here soon. I think he's trying to find the right words to describe Junior Mendes's contribution. He may be some time.
With Carlisle Five humbled and humiliated by only winning 1,-0 Saturday was the day the league shook still. Wycombe's automatic promotion chances are now officially as dead as that swan in Chapman's Pond that had bird flu last Friday but not today. We know that because their manager, the ex-Scaffold and Spurs Scotsman, told Miss Guest Diary's dentists last week. What better source than a man with a drill and a bill? It's a three-horse shootout for two places. Horses with guns? Sounds like a Channel 5 show.
After bemoaning "three minutes of madness" Rantin' Russ reflects: "We've got a very big weekend ahead of us next weekend," just to make sure you know when the big weekend is. Better make sure the players don't enter the egg hunt; we want no distractions. It was, says the Grand Dame of Grainthorpe, a crappy game. Much like the rest of the season then. Still, nice to see some honesty. Oh, a scrappy game. What's the difference?
And finally, Cyril, the reserves will finally break their run of victory avoidance by finally winning, thanks to an unnamed Notts Forest striker who is not named in the squad. Also not named in the squad is that unnamed Polish goalkeeper and the thoroughly named Miles Chamberlain, who is still supposed to be on loan with Worksop. Ah, they've named him now, that Forest striker; the High Court must have lifted the injunction. It's Michael Vickers! Often best not to know, isn't it. That's the first and the last we'll hear of him.
And that's the last you'll hear from me unless Mr Diary gets overtaken by ennui as he treks through the tide of consumerist tat and forgets to buy his mum a birthday present. If in doubt buy a pencil and a pencil sharpener. My mum was pleased.