Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 7 April 2006

7 April 2006

Let's get straight to the business end, gentle reader. Town are not going to lose 5-0 at Carlisle tomorrow. This assertion means we have to score at least five goals ourselves to get any points though. Not for nothing are they known as Carlisle Five - Hawley's pace and Bridges' guile will sorely test Town's overgrown centre-halves. Rodger(s) should have pruned Jones vulgaris and Futcher heracleum mantegazziani back in early February, before their sap started to rise. Instead they have ended up as leggy specimens, susceptible to low, flat crosses, which means they can't leap like salmon but are forced to stoop like the hunchback in the park. But perhaps tomorrow is the day for that solitary mister, Justin Whittle, to relive his Shearer moment. Yes, that's it - surreptitious elbows and a subsequent offer to sort it out down the tunnel. That hand gesture, caught by the Sky cameras, is the highlight of my season so far. Well, they do say you have to fight your way out of the basement division, don't they?

So having opted for the blue pill over the red at Sincil Bank, with a disastrous hammering ensuing, the Town squad will surely not being given a choice as they board the bus for the trip to Carlisle. What a long, strange trip it will be. And seemingly without young Mr Cohen, whose knee got damaged in the Wrexham win. So Parky, who has been crying on every provincial hack's pillow about how he hasn't been offered a new contract yet, is hoping to get a game. Mr Slade has inspired yet another perverse Grimsby Telegraph headline. Go for IT! is not a rallying call for the white heat of 21st-century technology, though, more about trying to go away and win against the in-form league leaders. "There has been a lot made of the threat they pose," says Russ, "with Karl Hawley and Michael Bridges scoring for fun of late. But we have our own threat in the shape of Michael Reddy and Gary Jones who have 27 goals between them. Hopefully we will be able to ask a few questions of the Carlisle defence."

Carlisle manager Mr Simpson is as aggressive as your Guest Diarist sounded earlier when he is quoted as saying: "If we win it can be a real kick in the guts for Grimsby. It isn't a title decider in my opinion. There's still a hell of a lot of football to play - but it's a big one. At this stage it's about results, and however you can get them. It's about rolling your sleeves up, fighting and scrapping for everything - and we've got players who can do that." Great minds, eh? Elsewhere in the Telegraph Mr Bridges says a point would be fine. And yes, he can vaguely remember young Reddy from his time at Sunderland, although Mr Reddy himself explains that they were only at the club together for a fortnight before Bridges headed off to that car crash of a club named Leeds. Young Michael also provides us with a less than Parkinsonesque analysis of the promotion arithmetic: "Promotion is within touching distance now with six games to go. I don't know how many points we need, though some have made estimates about how many wins or points we may need. We just want to go out and try and win every game and see where that takes us." You can't argue with that sentiment, can you? See yer.