Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 5 June 2003

5 June 2003

The nice thing about being the Diary rather than a professional sports writer is that I get to punctuate my writing about the Mariners with all manner of self-indulgent digressions: "Ooh, have you noticed the mating season's started" this; "I think hoi sin sauce is the best accompaniment" that; "look at the fluffy little yellow ones" this...and so on. If I were a professional sports writer, though, the nice thing about it, apart from having some money, would be writing things like: "In a scene straight out of a James Bond spy thriller penned by his namesake, chief executive Ian Fleming headed for a secret meeting with Bolder at a car park on the north bank to wrap up the deal." For this is the ace way the Grimsby Telegraph reports that Chris Bolder has followed Greg Young's lead by agreeing another year's contract with GTFC; and so keen was the club to wrap up the deal before the player left on his holidays that Fleming apparently intercepted the player at the Humber Bridge on the way to East Midlands Airport. Way cool. Bolder's fellow 'promising youngster' Kirk Wheeler has also signed up for another year.

Season ticket holders are being offered the chance to personalise their seats at Blundell Park next season. For just £25, or £15 for the promising youngsters in your family, the club will lovingly etch your name onto the polypropylene and leave it there for the entire duration of the 2003-04 campaign. Inspired by the possibilities, Cod Almighty is inviting you to go bonkers in Photoshop on the stadium furniture; but since there is as yet little chance of these designs being implemented, the Diary is keen to guide your attention to the club's offer, further details of which are being sent out with season ticket renewal forms.

Former Town frontman Lee Nogan has done more than he usually managed when going up for headers at Blundell Park and landed on his feet. The player looked all set to shuffle quietly out of professional football when his playing contract with York expired the other week; but after the surprise replacement of Minstermen boss Terry Dolan with 27-year-old Chris Brass as player-manager, old Tireless found himself looking at a new deal - with extra duties as Brass's assistant thrown in. The new management duo has its work cut out to rebuild a team, with less than 10 senior pros remaining on the books at Bootham Crescent.

One sharp-eyed Diary reader has alerted us to an interview with Jake Sagare on Town's official site. "The fans here aren't anything like the Grimsby fans," says the disappearing American forward. "They cheer for goals and when you kick it high and hard. They don't have a clue about how to play the game." Our correspondent adds: "No doubt the OS edited out the bit where he said: 'The Portland Timber fans don't whinge and boo their own team. And they don't start shouting "sack the board" every time the kiosk runs out of Bovril'..."

And finally, the Diary's Big Brother correspondent Cath Martin (hello!) reports that the conjugal friction between Steph and Stacy Coldicott has clearly failed to dim Mrs C's affection for the Mariners, as she is today resplendent in a black and white bikini. Now if I were Town, I'd be seeing a marketing opportunity here.