Cod Almighty | Article

by Miles Moss

5 August 2007

In a nutshell
Shrimps. With ambitions of becoming a big lobster.

Goodwill hunting
Oh, such a history, such bitter rivalry, so much to settle: 146 matches, with only 39 wins for the black-and-whites while the reds have won 73 times. Well, that's Newcastle and Manchester United's record against each other; Town's history of matches against Morecambe... well, I didn't need the plural for a start. Morecambe won the sole previous meetingbetween the clubs, but only on penalties after a 1-1 draw against a mix-'n'-match Town – and hey, it was only the Football League Trophy. When the Shrimps arrive in town in November, it'll have been just over two years since that visit, but it feels like a world away. Of the 16 players who turned out for Town that night, only four remain on the books. It's all a bit like it never happened, and the whole Morecambe thing brings on a case of Gallic Shoulder.

So does anyone have anything other than apathy for them? Typing "bitter rivals Morecambe" into Google produces zero results. Narrowing down the search, we learn that Southport are "coastal rivals", Lancaster are "Lancashire rivals" and a good old shufty through the only working messageboard I could find revealed very little vitriol at all. Having said that, Carlisle appear to have made themselves personae non gratae with the Morecambe faithful, who feel that the transfer compensation offered for play-off hero Danny Carlton was far too low; Carlisle then rubbed salt and vinegar in the wound by pulling out of the clubs' pre-season friendly. After much grumbling the match was reinstated, Carlisle winning 2-1. Naturally, Carlton scored the winner for his new club.

Previously
Unless you have spotters' badges for regional and lower-league football, it would be fair to say that Morecambe are really only notable for winning the FA Trophy in 1973–74. After working their way up through the Lancashire Combination and Northern Premier League, they joined the Conference in 1994 and acquitted themselves reasonably well, a couple of stinker seasons apart, always finishing top ten.

Not that much to shout about, then, in the years 1920 to 1999, but things have been looking up in the 21st century. After nearly winning the FA Trophy for a second time in 2001 (they were knocked out by Stevenage in the semis), their Conference top tens turned into places in the play-offs. 2003 saw semi-final defeat to Dagenham & Redbridge, having been four minutes away from the final; in 2006 they missed out again, eventual winners Hereford pipping them in extra time. Last year's promotion, then, was extra-special, as they beat York over two legs then Exeter in front of 40,000 at Wembley.

The promotion seemed justified: by the last day there was hardly anything between the four play-off contenders, but with eight matches to go Morecambe had been outside the play-off zone. They won six of those eight games, drew one and lost one. They won all five of their last home matches.

Sammy McIlroy was the manager to bring the club into the Football League for the first time, but much of the club's recent success must be attributed to the man he replaced, Jim Harvey. Harvey had been manager for 12 years until suffering a heart attack three weeks after their win on penalties at Blundell Park. McIlroy took over as caretaker for the remainder of the 2005–06 season, but – talk about kicking a man when he's down – the Morecambe directors waited until the end of the season, then called the fully-recovered Harvey into the office and sacked him.

The sacking upset a lot of Shrimps fans, and when McIlroy officially took over there were mixed feelings about the new manager. I imagine the fans are all smiles now, but long-time friends Harvey and McIlroy are no longer on each others' Christmas card lists, and should Harvey's new club Forest Green Rovers get drawn against Morecambe in cup competition it might be worth keeping an eye on the dugouts.

Ins and outs
The biggest loss this summer was undoubtedly striker Danny Carlton, who signed a two-year deal with Carlisle. As previously mentioned this was a free transfer, but subject to compensation due to Carlton's age. Morecambe wanted more than Carlisle were offering; it led to some bickering, but they seem to have sorted it out now. As for the player, Carlton had been at Morecambe since he was 16. "It was a difficult decision, but I want to play at the highest level I can and I want to thank the fans for all their support," he said, cutting and pasting from just about every other player who has moved clubs.

In close contention as the player fans will most miss this season is midfielder Chris Blackburn, who rejected the best contract Morecambe could offer and signed for Swindon for free. He's a popular chap, highly thought of by McIlroy and Shrimps fans alike who, while sorry to see him go, bear him no malice for the move, instead wishing him well for his career.

Other leavers in 2007 have been two midfielders at opposite ends of the career ZX81 – sorry – spectrum: 20-year-old Jonathan Smith was freed to move to Jim Harvey's Forest Green Rovers; while at 35, Ged Brannan decided to finish on a high and announced his retirement after the play-off final. A further but inconsequential change to the team sheet this summer was the release of defender Danny Meadowcroft, who never quite cut the mustard.

Two of the new arrivals are already well known to the Morecambe fans. Former Blackpool striker Matthew Blinkhorn spent a month at Christie Park last season, scoring eight goals in twelve appearances. He became McIlroy's first signing this summer, and much is expected of him. Fans will have to wait, though, as Blinkhorn will miss the first few weeks of the season after undergoing a hernia operation.

The other not-so-new boy is defender Danny Adams who previously played under McIlroy at Macclesfield. He has just signed a two-year contract, but has been at Morecambe since last February, arriving on a temporary basis to help out an injury-hit defence, but soon becoming first-choice left-back.

Carl Baker is an attacking midfielder who signed from Southport for a record fee (good old 'undisclosed', but definitely over £25,000). Baker scored 12 goals for his old club from midfield, and might be even deadlier if McIlroy plays him as a forward. At the time of writing shirt numbers have not been decided, but talk is that Baker will take Carlton's number 10 shirt. Full of energy and enthusiasm, he loves to run at defenders, with a real 'they don't like it up 'em' attitude.

Central defender David Artell is also new at Morecambe, but will be familiar to Town fans: he opened the scoring for Chester when they came out 2-0 winners at Blundell Park last season. Incidentally, that game was Artell's fifth against the Mariners (four for Chester, one for Mansfield) and the only one that hasn't ended in defeat for him.

So should we be afraid? The focus may be on Blinkhorn and Baker as new signings, but let's not forget the players Morecambe already have: midfielder-cum-strikers Twiss, Thompson, and Curtis scored 37 goals between them last season.

Their expectations
Reading down the player profiles on Morecambe's official site, many of the players allude to a great team spirit and the possibility that they will "cause a few shocks" this season. The fans, too, seem to be on a high: there is very little miserablism to be had on the messageboards, and mention of the fact that they're favourites for relegation is met with disdain rather than grumbling agreement. The fans seem to have belief that the players can survive in the fourth division and there are plenty of positive things being said about the sensible way the board is operating. Fans are in no doubt that Morecambe is now "a league club forever".

Meanwhile, the chairman is thinking further ahead, and has announced ambitious plans to build a new 6,000-seater stadium which will be modern and clean, house a fast food franchise and possess all the charm of a new stadium. Enjoy Christie Park's charms while you can.

Our expectations
The atmosphere surrounding the club is positive and it's easy to believe the fans who snort at the short relegation odds. I'm sure they'll survive too. I also have faith in the players when they say they'll cause a few upsets this season. I reckon they'll score a few – Blinkhorn and Baker are just the sort of players I'd sign for my Football Manager team – but I've a feeling they may concede just as many, despite the fans' admiration of goalie Steven Drench.

This is the point of the rough guide where I would usually say something really nice about a team and predict they'll finish in the top six. And each year the team in question let me down and the other Cod Almighty staff point at me and laugh. No more Mr Nice Guy this year. Morecambe will do well enough in their first league season, but run out of steam and finish 17th.

Spotters' guide
In 2003, the first Crap Towns book had Morecambe in third place, behind Hull and Cumbernauld. This was probably all Noel Edmonds' fault: his World of Crinkley Bottom 'attraction' famously closed after 13 weeks; this was swiftly followed by Morecambe's indoor waterworld, Frontierland, and the Pleasure Beach, leading to widespread drug and alcohol problems around the town. Bloody Mr Blobby.

It was all a far cry from Morecambe's glamorous past: from 1956 until 1989 it used to be the home of the Miss Great Britain beauty contest, you know. Notable winners include Debbie Greenwood in 1984, the lovely sounding Violet Pretty in 1950, and in 1973, Gay Spink. That's right. Gay Spink.

Apparently, the town's undergoing something of a renaissance. A quick Google reveals some very pleasant views of Morecambe indeed. It looks the typical British seaside town; those familiar with Cleethorpes should feel right at home. It's got a seafront, it's got a Winter Gardens, it's got that unmistakable charm, and fish and chips aplenty. And there's a statue of Eric Morecambe too! What more could you want?