Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Sunday 10 May 2026

Division 4 (PO1)

Grimsby Town 1 Staunton (1)

Salford City 2 Cesay (4), McJannet (40, og)

Attendance: 8,115 (707 away fans)

Do they feel the same way too, I wanna know.

Down in League Two those with plexiglass perspective may eat prawn sandwiches too but they still see the same game and came up with same name. Yes, they got the feeling, they had no choice.

By far the best of an overrun bunch of bananas, the geezer from the freezer passed and purred when possible, driving on, sweeping up and keeping his finger firmly in the dyke as the waters kept overtopping.

He's not going to talk about all the work he does for charity, absolutely not, oh no:

"Tight game, fairly attritional, not too much football played by either team. Not helped by a couple of decisions we can't talk about…I'm not going to get drawn into what I think anymore than what I have said as I will end up at Wembley in the morning because I’ll get in trouble. The explanation we got at half time - It was one for VAR - doesn't sit comfortably with me, can't get me head around that really."

But what about the actual, factual football game Dave:

"I thought we were much better in the second half than the first …team in the ascendancy without causing too many problems… Got another game to build on our improvement, we need to be better in anger."

I think that's what is known as an interesting sideways glance at the news.

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Calamity Karl seems to have undergone a Steve Evans-like make-over from gnarly, snarly madman to chirpy, cheery and above all avuncular wise old man. Perhaps it's because they won:

"I almost clapped their goal because it was a brilliant finish, but every single one of my players stood up to the challenge from that point on. I'm not under any illusions as to how hard it is going to be on Friday, and if we'd got beat by one goal, we'd be standing here saying we're still in the tie…As a collective, that was one of our best away performances of the season, which shows how good the opposition are because it was incredibly tight…The home support was electric, the roof nearly came off all four sides."

Tell me Prime Minister, is there anything else you'd like to add?

"I can't ask for any more than what Salford isn't, I'll never ask for anything less than what Salford is."

Colemanballs anybody?

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Baby, we got the big crowd blues.

Town were, again, overwhelmed and overridden by these fiery, feisty foes, unable to work their processes and resorting to big booming balls. We ailed, we failed as balls sailed beyond stripes. Staunton and Rodgers were pinned back, wary of the fantastically fleet-footed flankers, Oduor finally had the game Bantamboard nay sayers had warned was, like a Ryanair flight from Dublin to Donnigton, way overdue, and the Mac'n'Mal were mauled in the middle. Kabia was on the invisible side of ephemeral whilst Cook and Green chased rainbows but found fool's gold.

And the changes made things even worse.

But it's not over yet. It could be Braintree, it could be Newport, we'll just have to wait and see whether we're going to Wembley. The future is ours to see, but only on TV.

Pace, power, direct. A perfectly honed stereotype, but an effective one. Individually and collectively superior, the difference between now and then was their attitude, their focus and concentration. In short, determination.

Assisted though they were by generous officials, apart from the first 30 seconds this game was played entirely in the manner and at the speed they desired. They are just better at that type of direct smother'n'spoilerballing than Town. They ruthlessly targeted the left as Graydon rose, rose and rose again above Staunton to flick for the perky pests to pester and Town were always on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Cesay was a constant lurking menace popping up in the spaces between friends, sliding through opened doors. And at the back they were a closed door, their switch to a back four addressing their flaw in Awe.

A more elegant Bromley. There you are, what greater praise can there be. They could have scored more if they'd tried. Perhaps in trying to be too clever they may end being stupid. I can only answer perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

We're out of luck as hubris struck.

Mr M Collett

What can you do when the officials seem star struck?

How can we sum up their egregious fawning and one-eyed flagging? Let us close our eyes, hold hands and chant the official Officials' pre-match prayer:

"Where there was harmony, may we bring discord. Where there was truth, may we bring error. Where there was faith, may we bring doubt. And where there was hope, may we bring despair."

Mad Matt and his mates sowed the seeds, watered the weeds and watched us seethe as they only saw red to ensure Salford led: 3.104

26 seconds. That's all.

In a word: withered