Cod Almighty | Postbag

Punch drunk diary

23 December 2025

Drunk since Man Utd and more recently punch drunk by our league results, we've finally got round to clearing out the CA postbag. Now to get drunk on some Christmas punch...

Lino dazzled by Samba Town

Earlier this season when Town were riding high a younger member of the family was one of the assistant referees at an away game. When we met recently I asked him about it and he offered the observation that Town played ‘like Brazil’. Admittedly he said this in the context of a comparison with our opponents (OK, it was the BF Scum) but since this was probably the first time (and quite possibly the last) that the Mariners have been compared to the South American maestros I thought it worth mentioning.
UTM

from Dr Russell Moseley, Leamington Spa

Letters Ed responds: Form is temporary, class is permanent as they say Russell. Let's hope Town prove it and draw similar comparisons in the second half of the season

Crewe Alex (a)

Can't get stats or report for Crewe game.

from Mike

Letters Ed responds: Thanks Mike, we had no match reporter at this one. We have (finally) published the match stats. Thanks for the shout and Happy Christmas.

P*talo* letter

Postbag letters from 29th September? I have just read them 30th October, thought I'd treat them the way you do with the postbag emails you get and leave them a while, hanging until needed :-)

I thought I'd look it up in online dictionaries. if it is in a dictionary, i thought, it must be a word? I did look it up, and it is defined as a noun, British Trademark, a portable building containing a toilet. So there you go. Trademark. Then I thought 'what does 'Wikipedia say?'. They say the etymology is 'From a trademark of Portakabin Ltd, based on Portable and loo'. The lady is right. You can use normal words, compound them up and try to 'brand protect' the results. Who knew? I failed English 'O' level twice time until I passed third time.

But then online AI pops up when I ask it 'how to use Trademarks in written English?'. It says trademarks should be used as an adjective to modify a noun? The example given is KLEENEX tissues. So strictly speaking it is a P*talo* Portable Toilet?

Anyway, I suppose someone paid good money for the trade mark use, so it 'protects' the value.

In her line of work, though, it got me wondering if she would say 'I'll jump in the Jacuzzi once I have ho*vered up?, or would she say 'I'll jump in the Jac*zzi spa bath once I have Ho*ver vacuum cleanered up?' She might hedge her bets and say 'I'll jump in the generic air assisted bubbling bath one I have used atmospheric pressure difference to take bits up from my carpet'.

I suspect she is not whiter than white unless she is being paid by those who need her to protect their property. Call it protection money?

TTFN

from Ian Jackson, by electronic mail

Letters Ed responds: Straight back at ya Ian, we will expect a response sometime in January. Seriously, thank you for this important follow-up to one of the strangest emails we've received and we're chuckling away here at the second last paragraph.

The72 lacking in artificial intelligence?

Hi James, (cc Cod Almighty Postbag)

I was reading the recent piece about Grimsby attributed to Louie Truman when I came across the following claim:

"Artell’s side also managed a historic Carabao Cup win against Manchester United. Grimsby Town managed to eliminate the Red Devils after a dramatic 12-11 penalty shootout, marking their first-ever win over United in a competitive match."

Here, in fact, are some other wins by Grimsby Town over Manchester United in competitive matches:

04 May 1889: Grimsby Town 3 Manchester United 0 (Combination)
08 February 1890: Grimsby Town 7 Manchester United 0 (Football Alliance)
14 April 1890: Manchester United 0 Grimsby Town 1 (Football Alliance)
13 September 1890: Grimsby Town 3 Manchester United 1 (Football Alliance)
17 November 1894: Grimsby Town 2 Manchester United 1 (FL D2)
14 March 1896: Grimsby Town 4 Manchester United 2 (FL D2)
19 September 1896: Grimsby Town 2 Manchester United 0 (FL D2)
04 March 1899: Grimsby Town 3 Manchester United 0 (FL D2)
08 December 1900: Grimsby Town 2 Manchester United 0 (FL D2)
12 April 1904: Grimsby Town 3 Manchester United 1 (FL D2)
12 October 1929: Manchester United 2 Grimsby Town 5 (FL D1)
27 September 1930: Manchester United 0 Grimsby Town 2 (FL D1)
24 January 1931: Grimsby Town 1 Manchester United 0 (FA Cup R4)
31 January 1931: Grimsby Town 2 Manchester United 1 (FL D1)
25 December 1933: Manchester United 1 Grimsby Town 3 (FL D2)
26 December 1933: Grimsby Town 7 Manchester United 3 (FL D2)
14 November 1936: Grimsby Town 6 Manchester United 2 (FL D1)
10 September 1938: Grimsby Town 1 Manchester United 0 (FL D1)
11 October 1947: Manchester United 3 Grimsby Town 4 (FL D1)

I'm fascinated by how such an error came to be. Is Louis Truman an AI?

Yours in sport,
Pete

from Pete Green

Letters Ed responds: Thanks for copying us in Pete, we would be interested to hear if you received a reply from Louis/AI?