Cod Almighty | Diary
This Septic Isle
15 July 2026
There's a World Cup semi-final tonight and England are in it. What's more, we're playing the Little Infanta's favourite team, a team containing the man who has been arguably the greatest footballer on the planet for the last 15 years, and a man (the same one) who can't be booked or sent off for any offence up to and including Conspiring With Others to Commit Treason. Big deal, eh?
No. You want Town news. Hokay. Well, what's left of the Town squad is in Slovenia, where they presumably travelled in a taxi. You want photos of the team around the pool, tales of classic footballer japes and pranks and rannygazoo? I ain't got it. They will, however, be likely watching the Argentina game against England tonight. It's a World Cup semi-final you know. There. That's the Town news over with. Now I've got something to talk about. I might try and put in the odd subtle Town reference though. This is a Grimsby Town website after all.
The winners of tonight's game will play Spain in the final. Spain were great last night, and France were dog. Mbappe – the only player in the World Cup to have the face of a 55-year old music teacher glued onto a young athlete's body – will be going home, or possibly to Slovenia to meet up with the Town boys. The French team looked knackered, frustrated, and generally like my friend Richard, who petitioned his parents all year for a bike for Christmas when he was 12 and ended up getting a toaster.
If - and this is such a big 'IF' you could put snow on the top and call it a mountain - we beat Argentina tonight it will be a repeat of the Euro Final from two years ago. Which is nice. It won't, however, be a repeat of Grimsby Town 2 Swindon 0 from the 20th of April 2024. None of the England team have ever played for Grimsby, though I have heard rumours that Jude Bellingham once nipped into Brigg Garden Centre to check out their wide range of cacti and succulents.
Look, this is ridiculous. There is a World Cup semi-final tonight and England are in it. It's nothing to do with Town. There is no news about Town. Forget about Town. You don't need to think about Town until our massive pre-season friendly against Zorya Luhansk on Saturday. We will have a whole 10 months of thinking about nothing but Town, and possibly Jude Bellingham looking critically at cacti, which is a strangely unsettling image that I now can't get out of my head.
Remember, supporting England is not a political act whatever the far left and far right try and tell you. It's fun. It's a sport. It's a laugh. And, it's history. A football match you'll be able to talk about with everyone you know and not just the bloke who sits next to you in the Pontoon. A shared experience. The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Special of 2026. A landmark. A shining beacon bringing togther the whole spectrum of humanity. Too far, that one. Got carried away a bit. Really no idea what I'm talking about now.
Anyway. Enjoy, or whatever it is we do when we are watching football. Endure, perhaps. UTM UTE