Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 30 January 2003

30 January 2003

When you opened your curtains this morning it might have made you say: "Awww - innit pretty!" It might even have given you a reason not to go to work. But the heavy snow that has enveloped most of the country overnight has also cast a doubt over Town's visit to Portsmouth this Saturday. The south coast has not escaped the blizzard conditions, and the Diary's favourite weather forecaster says more is in store for the weekend. Watch this space - and Cod Almighty will bring you the latest updates as soon as we can crib them from other sites.

A defiant Steve Livingstone is still aiming to give the elbow to the red card he received in last Saturday's defeat against Bradford - despite the stupid son of a bitch who sent him off refusing to review his dumbass decision. So convinced is Town's target man of his moral rectitude that he will lodge an appeal with the FA in a bid to escape a three-match ban, notwithstanding the minimal prospect of success. "There's no sign of me throwing an elbow at [filthy diving cheat Robert Molenaar]," Livvo tells today's Grimsby Telegraph, "but referees very rarely change their minds and I didn't expect him to."

Grist to the mill of those Grimbarian pessimists who insist that Town are going to the dogs comes in the club's latest fund-raising auction. After selling off everything stashed away in the bowels of Blundell Park - from an autographed Leicester City pennant to Jason Gavin's shirt - the cash-strapped club is now offering a Grimsby Town dog coat to the highest bidder. Who said Town couldn't hold a lead?

The team coach carrying Town's reserve team encountered a shimmering, amorphous blue light across the carriageway of the A161, shortly after leaving the M180 en route to a hastily-arranged friendly at Barnsley this afternoon. The mysterious glow on the road turned out to be a time portal, transporting the second string and their transport back to yesterday afternoon and utterly confusing the Diary as to which tense it should write in. Continuing to Oakwell, Paul Wilkinson's team managed goals from trialists Ricky Allaway and the Quiet American Jake Sagare, but lost the match 3-2, clearly disorientated by their freakish temporal experience and an unfamiliar 3-5-2 formation.