Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 22 January 2003

22 January 2003

Paul Groves has a selection headache. He caught it from Terry Cooke, who has an actual headache. That's right - no sooner has the Cookie Monster finally broke into the team, laid on a few assists, and allayed a few conspiracy theories than he's bust his bonce in training and is now laid up with concussion. "And with Stacy Coldicott, George Santos and Alan Pouton already in the physio's room," points out the Grimsby Telegraph, we really are knackered in midfield and Bradford will lightly flambée us in a butter and garlic reduction with a little flat-leaf parsley before HAVING US FOR BREAKFAST. Yeah, I'm paraphrasing. But only a bit.

Cheltenham Town could become the next great lower-division exponents of passing and movement, as one of the five names shortlisted for their managerial vacancy is leading television pundit Alan Buckley. The Diary wishes Mr Approachable all the best with his job application, with the proviso that if he gets the job he doesn't try and sign Grovesie.

In a bold and dramatic new bid to be any good, Hull City have swooped for Northampton's former Town striker Jamie Forrester, who joins up with some bloke called Jevons to become the Tigers' 34th new forward in the past six weeks, or something. The Diary always thought Forrester was pretty good and never had a fair crack during his spell with the Mariners - not that it gave us any pleasure to see him subsequently score loads and loads of goals for Scunny. You see? I should be made president of the whole world.

Town reserves' home game with Mansfield - called off earlier this week in mysterious circumstances - has been rescheduled for Wednesday 5 March. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, this is also the day that devotees of the shadowy Amm-Offome cult (branches from North Dakota to North Thoresby) insist will bring the end of the world, with true believers saved by a fleet of UFOs with pretty twinkly lights piloted by aliens with bodies the size of David Soames and heads the size of Georges Santos. That's all of Georges Santos, not just his head.

And finally, the Diary is considering a takeover bid for the Safeway chain of supermarkets.