Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 15 May 2003

15 May 2003

Town are making a surprise move to sign Michael Keane on a permanent basis, according to the player's manager at Preston, Craig Brown. The former Scotland boss isn't arsed either way, announcing on Preston's official site: "If he wants to go and we can arrange the right financial package then he can go to Grimsby. But I will be happy if he stays here." The Irish under-21 international midfielder, as you no doubt recall, played seven matches on loan for the Mariners very recently, scoring in the final two and endearing himself to the Pontoon with some hard running, three bookings, and a slightly unhinged goal celebration. Town's only response to the story so far has been to feature it in the official site's cop-out rumours section. The Diary still wants to know whether Keane has a tattoo on his arse that says BACKNAL.

Today's hot transfer gossip, though, so often turns out to be tomorrow's load of old back, as BBC Humber Sport proves today by retracting the line that Darren Wrack was set for a move to the estuary area. Walsall's infantile attacking midfielder was reported to have been pursued by both GTFC and Hull, but according to Auntie is now set to sign a new deal at the Bescot, probably after the highly influential Diary revealed its continued displeasure at the player for giving Town fans the Vs the other year.

Now that that unpleasantness is behind us forever, we have discovered why Town were so backward in coming forward about their friendly with Boston, which both the Pilgrims and Radio Lincolnshire had announced was scheduled for Saturday 19 July. Like a swaggering lothario flirting with the girl next door while pursuing the city's glamorous uber-babe, it looks like the Mariners were keeping poor Boston hanging on until Sunderland got back to them, as Mick McCarthy's nonsequitously nicknamed Black Cats are now heading down the coast to Blundell Park on the 19th. At this rate, your favourite GTFC website will soon be renamed Cad Almighty. Town's visit to York Street has been put back a week to Saturday 26 July.

Over to CA's Santoswatch team now, who have begun a 24/7 surveillance operation on the momentous Frenchman in a bid to bring Diary readers the very latest news on his whereabouts and the progress of new contract talks. Having been released from a passenger jet somewhere over the English Channel, a carrier pigeon has just arrived at the Diary's back door with the message that big Georges is headed back to his homeland to think over his latest offer from the Mariners. "Grimsby gave me a chance to play football and I am happy here," he will tell Town's official site shortly. "I will be back - I hope."

After drawing first blood last Saturday in the Battle of Lincolnshire, Keith Alexander's have-a-go heroes put Scunny out of their misery in the second leg of their promotion play-off last night, running out 1-0 winners at Glanford Park to take the semi-final 6-3 on aggregate. The Diary would be interested to learn Brian Laws' justification for having a go at the Imps about the long ball thing, since it was the sandwich man himself who took Scunthorpe into January's FA Cup clash with Leeds saying: "It will be a case of us lumping it into the box at every opportunity." He really is a prize wanker, isn't he.

A second email reaches the Diary from Séan Carr, whose first email was notable for its Handyside/Lever/Bristol City mix-up. "First," he writes, "can I apologise for my Handyside/Lever/Bristol City mix-up the other day? Sorry." Hey, it's cool. "There, I feel loads better. It's this zummerzet scrumpy az addled me brain. I'm even picking up the lingo! The good news is you are all invited down to Bristol City next season, as well as Swindon (6 points please) and Plymouth down here in the West." That's very hospitable of you, mate - thanks. The Diary is still reeling from the several litre bottles of Bulmer's Special consumed one sunny afternoon in 1989, which caused me to spew copiously across much of Franklin College; but if you're allowed to sup Guinness in the West Country, then I'll see you there. Now, when you said we're "all invited", you did mean the entire readership of the Diary, and not just the Cod Almighty team?

In other news, former Town loan striker Steve Kabba - who was heading nowhere in football until plucked from obscurity by Neil Warnock - has been asked by the manager of Sierra Leone to join the squad for their forthcoming African Nations Cup match against Morocco. Kabba qualifies via his grandparents - you know, like Tony Cascarino. The Diary is grateful for this information to Miles Moss, who says there's also "a story that the Plymouth manager is denying trying to sign Chris Hargreaves again. Whether there's some subtext to that story I've missed, I couldn't work out. Possibly a gay love triangle." It's a lovely thought.